Sit(I)lyas

I'm back!!!!!

2008-05-07T00:21:00.002+08:00

OK oK OK!!!! I'm back by popular demand...
MCM faham je aku nie...
Whakkahakaha!!!!

Been busy lately... with attachment, family, my darling and lots more...

Will update once i Have the time...

And to you sayang....
Congrats for ur graduation on the 25th April 08. At last, u r now a full pledge Prison Officer....

To Sabri, I will not close down this blog... it's been a long way since... It's tiring to start all over again...
To IKA, it's ok, that comment came from someone who dunt appreciate GOD's creation....

All the best guys...

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Happy New Year

2007-12-31T15:44:00.000+08:00

It's about time that we should say goodbye to 2007 and welcome 2008.
I'm really gonna do some reflection on 2007 and look back at my last year's new year's resolutions.
2007 have been a good year for me. In terms of my studies, I've improved compared to last year's performances.

As for my relationships with my friends, yup, I've created many friendships with people that really appreciate me although there are those who just took advantage of it. Ijat, Peah, Puteri, Amir, Iswandi, Immirza, my classmates and those that I never mention your names and u know who u are, thanks for being a great fren and being there for me.
My family is the best. My sisters had learnt to talk to me and at least show me a bit of respect. Cos in terms of respect, u got to earn it as it never come freely. My mum trusted me more and it really makes me happy to know that she is happy for me. My kids are growing perfectly. Love them more each day.
Financial wise, things have been looking up. Got a sponsorship, deary landed a stable job, everything is going on well.
Problems will always be there, but I learnt to handle it wisely and solve it in an amicable way instead of running from it.
And my love life is anything but great. Accepted by my future in-laws. Loved by them. Engaged to a wonderful man. Yah, we had our difference especially after our engagement, maklumlah, dugaan alam pertunangan. But again, along the way, we learnt alot about each others good and bad points and we also learnt to accept things that can't be changed and try to change what can be. Our view came from each others eyes and not one sided.

All this, Thanks to the ALMIGHTY. It all comes from Allah and I really appreciate whatever that HE has given me. Alhamdulillah.
What happened in the past, it's actually a test from Allah. In life, you really need hard knocks for you to learn to appreciate things around you. You will surely fall many times while learning to walk. But what is important is that you stand up from that fall and keep on walking. Never give up by being afraid that you will fall again. You will never walk in this manner. How can you run without walking?

I'm really lucky to be the chosen ones to go through a difficult part in my life. That part really taught me alot and made me grew up. I used to regret and ask why these happened to me and why me? But again, I found out something that others don't. I found the real meaning of Family bonding. I found out the true meaning of love. I found myself.
Reflecting on the past really made me a better person to live the present and make my future a better one. All the memories be it good or bad, I will keep and guard it to be opened and look up some time in the days to come.

As for now, my new year resolutions for 2008 will be:
-> Start to do my pillar, Sholat.
-> Start saving for my wedding
-> take care of my health so that I can take less MCs and concentrate on my studies.
-> Forgive the people who made my life misreable in the past.
-> Get a license.
-> Spend more time with my kids and concentrate on them.
-> Be a better daughter, mum, fren, sister, student and lover.

For you people, you are welcome to remind me of my resolutions at any point that I may overlook my resolutions.
May the next year be a better year for everyone. InsyaAllah.

Sayang,
Thanks for being there for me.
Your love, encouragement and your concern have really made me who I am today.
Without you, I don't know what will become of me.
God gave you to me for a reason.
And the reason why he gave you to me now and not before, only HE knew it.
We are working towards a common goal in our relationship and it can only be a reality if we work together.
May our love and relationship grow stronger each day.
Amin.

~Sit(I)lyas Forever~
~Staying strong since 06.10.06~

Time together

2007-12-29T04:20:00.000+08:00

2 more weeks to go before Deary finish his training. Time really past very quickly indeed. His practical training at Changi already ended and that also means he have to stay in camp. It's back to the days when he would have to book in on Sunday and I would count the days to Friday. At least the last week was not that bad because of the holiday. It's only from Wed til Fri. It's also the same for next week. After that, it's back to square one of waiting , missing and counting days.

My kids will start school next Wed, and as for me, a week more to late night sleeping and late afternoon naps. Really miss school and my crazy classmates. Received some bad news recently that 2 of my classmates have dropped out. Kinda sad but no matter what, I just hoped that they made the right choice and good luck to them.

I'm really missing my Deary so much that everything I do seems to go wrong. Deary booked out yesterday but we decided not to meet as he was kinda shagged and he suggested that we both stayed home and be a good son and daughter. And furthermore, Syahid was down with a fever. Haha! That shocked everyone. Tak pernah2 seh we were at home on a Friday night!!!

Dunno what got into me, woke up and looking at the weather, just felt like going to the beach. Called Deary and told him about my plan to go Sentosa. He was reluctant at first but relented later.

Reached Sentosa in the late afternoon and when others were changing to go home, were changing to start swimming. Funny right?!! The weather was just perfect, the sun was covered by the clouds. The best time for me to swim not worrying about my skin getting dark. I'm already dark for goodness sake and I don't want to be darker.

Isn't he cute, the apple of my eye?

Soaked ourselves in the water, watched the sunset and just enjoying each others company.

We then decided to spend the rest of the evening at Cafe Del Ma. The ambience was great. The service was wonderful. The music wa okey. Ordered our drinks and nachos and we just laid back and relax.

There's this one moment that both of of were so engrossed and really in our own world, an American guy just came to us and said," You peeps have a camera?" ( looked at him with our blur faces, and after a few secs, realising our blur faces, he explained) "well, both of you look so cool together. You look so comfortable. It'll be nice if I just capture the moment." Oh!!! Haha!! we thought what.... Gave him our camera, he snapped, and yah, we do look comfy. Don't you think so?

Took a few more shots and we decided to call it a day.

Had our supper at Newton, then to Mustaffa to buy a school bag and stationaries for my boy and myself. For my boy, Adidas bag for the new year and for myself, a converse pencil case and plenty of stationaries.

Really happy today. The day was spent really nicely.

Sayang, thanks for the unconditional love that you gave. No one can ever replace you in my heart. No one. Love you lots baby.

~Sit(I)lyas Forever~
~Staying strong since 06.10.06~

Happy B'day My Little Prince and merry x'mas

2007-12-25T22:59:00.000+08:00

Just yesterday I felt like I was holding my boy for the first time in my arms. It's just like yesterday I saw him open his eyes for the first time, saw his first smile, saw his first step, his first tooth, his first day at school, his first spelling, his first test... It just felt like yesterday....

Now my boy and will always be my baby, is already 8yrs old. Wow! He is halfway to his teenage years.

On the eve, we brought him out to Orchard Rd together with Amir and Iswandi. At Orchard MRT, the crowd was terrible. But it get better, thank goodness, as we went further up towards Wheelock.

On the way to town.

Had our supper at McDonalds and headed down to Orchard Tower to buys cans of spray foams. The 2 brothers already plan and putlay their strategy to spray anyone who got into their path. OOooo!!!! Double trouble!!!!

We saw a caroling choir performing and requested them to sing him a b'day song a few mins before midnight. And at the stroke, we kissed him and we started the spraying frenzy. No one was spared. We just sprayed like nobody's business. And our main target was foreign workers. Haha!!!

My Heroes

We then went back home happy but tired at ard 3am. And my sis gave him a pretzie, a nice shirt. Good thing it's not toys. But hey, his B'day just started. there's more to come.

That morning, His Dad brought him out to celebrate his special day. When I knew that he was otw home in the evening, we quickly bought for him a cake from Swensen and gave him a surprise.

He was busy opening up his pretzie from his 'auntie' and we brought the cake out. Nice cake + happy kid.

My wish for my little boy, Abdul Nursyahid,

Sayang,
Umurmu sudahpun lebih setahun.
Rasanya seperti baru semalam Mama membelai lembut jari jemarimu yang halus dan kecil.
Kini jari jemari itu sudah mula menggapai sesuatu yang tinggi dan mencabar.
Mama hanya mampu memberikanmu apa yang termampu.
Maafkan Mama seandainya Mama tidak memberikanmu sebuah keluarga yang sempurna.
Maafkan Mama kerana mama tiada punya banyak masa bersamamu.
Maafkan Mama Sayang....
Tetapi Mama berjanji bahawa segalanya akan berubah.
InsyaAllah.
Dan sempena Hari Lahirmu yang ke 8 tahun ini, Mama doakan agar Syahid dipanjangkan usia, dimurahkan rezeki dan berbahagia selalu.
Harapan Mama semoga Syahid rajin belajar, jadilah anak yang soleh, jangan nakal dan yang penting sekali kita harus ada sifat Syukur kepada Allah.
Ketahuilah bahawa MAMA SAYANGKAN SYAHID.
And to those whose made my Boy's B'day a memorable one, thanks alot...

And to my Deary, thanks for mp4 that you bought for him. Thanks for trying so hard to be the best new Dad for my kids. Thanks for loving them like your own. Thanks for being there for them when they need you. Thanks Sayang.....

~Sit(I)lyas Forever~
~Staying strong since 06.10.06~

Selamat Hari Raya Haji

2007-12-20T23:51:00.000+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA!!!

Never get to go out. Got to work. 1 more day of attachment to go. My CP teacher gave me an option. Either to burn my public holiday or come back this Sat. Asked Deary about it and he told me about his cousins plans to have a gathering. So I chose to work.

Deary fetched me from work and initially our plan was to visit his uncle in CGH. But I plead with him to let me take a nap. And as usual, once asleep, never want to wake up. He was also tired so we decided to just sleep.

Later in the evening, my family came back and my sisters asked me to join them for a bowling. Yah! Why not. So Syahid, My cuz Nisah n boifey, Habsah n Boifey , Biba, Deary and myself. Had an enjoyable time. Hafiz was crying because we never bring him along. Promised him to bring him tmorrow for the outing with Deary's Cuzzies.

Yes!!! My sister got her licence and this is the first time she's driving a car. Congrats gerl...

~Sit(I)lyas Forever~
~Staying strong since 06.10.06~

Rehab Party

2007-12-19T21:21:00.000+08:00

The ward that I'm attached to (Ward 64R) had a xmas party just now. The ward sister approached me and the NUS and NYP students to help out.

I was in the morning shift together with Eunice and Elizabeth. We changed and went to have a quick bite. We then went to blk 7 level 9. Helped to sibuk2. Cut the turkey ham. Carry some stuff.

When the party was about to start, we helped bring our patients from the ward up to level 9 which is also called the void deck. Ex patients were also invited. Some were so healthy that you never knew they underwent rehabilation before. Pamela and HuiJuan were also present.

The party was okey. The best was a dance number put up by the nurses. Well done gerls... U really made the party a memorable one especially with your boogie oogie butts. The food was average. I had to go off earlier as Deary already waited for me downstairs. I really felt so accepted. Thanks everyone.

~Sit(I)lyas Forever ~
~Staying strong since 06.10.06~

Feeling so tired but happy.

2007-12-16T22:40:00.000+08:00

Really can't wake up... Got a call from the guys waking us up. We had to head down for breakfast, but our body ain't listening to our mind. Mind : "Wake up you lazy bum!!!" Body: "Nah, just for a while more...." Headed downstairs for breakfast then went back to sleep. Deary and myself were the last one to be down. The rest were waiting for us. Haha! Sorry guys...

We then went to KLCC by LRT-LRT-Train. Well, their train services were all from different company and they are not linked at all. We have to Board, alight, board, alight, board again.... haiz! leceh kan...

Finally reached KLCC.... Ate at BK. Then some last minute shopping.

In between KLCC and the train station, we were sitting at the stairs waiting for the rest who were taking a puff. A security makcik came to us (Deary n me) and she said that we are not suppose to behave like this in a public place. Well, we were just leaning against each other and me giving him a peck on his cheek. WTF!! Then, abt 30 mins later, again we were sitting there and the same auntie walked towards us and said that we were not allowed to sit on the stairs. Get a life makcik. You are just jealous of us... Duh!!

After that we headed back to Pudu Bus Terminal and waited for our bus. OMG, the bus was really haprak. We got the last seat and we were like riding on a roller coaster. Finally reached Larkin at about 9pm.

Home Sweet Home

I miss my Mummy!!!

Luckily, Immirza's parent fetched her and she gave us a ride back home. We were so really shagged. It's enjoyable though and our shopping was more than our budget.

Thanks Sayang for this wonderful trip although there was an episode that I will not forget. But overall, just being with you is the best thing.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Touchdown!!!

2007-12-15T03:06:00.000+08:00

We reached KL at around 5am in the morning. The shops selling tickets were not open yet, so we decided to hang around at the coffeshop near to Puduraya terminal.

At 7.30, after some of the shops opened, we went around scouring for tickets to Singapore. But all were sold out. How? We then decided to get the KL-Johor (Larkin) instead. At least its much closer to home. So there, we managed to get 7 tics. We then tried to find our way to Allson Genesis Hotel where we will spend our 2 days. Luckily Yan was with us, or else we would just take a cab there. Yan was really familiar with KL.

The Hotel was near to Bukit Bintang. After asking around, we somehow managed to get to the hotel. We reserved 2 rooms, one for the boys and one for the gerls. Unfortunately the rooms were not ready yet, and our check in time was at 2pm. We then decided to find hotels that we can rest for a few hours. we really need to wash up and stuff. We were walking around aimlessly till we found a lodge Hotel 8. Lucky for us they have only 1 pathetic room. We took it for RM40.

We left our bags at our hotel concierge and started our shopping. Had brakfast cum lunch. Im n me also looked around for cake. Well, we are planning to give a surprise to Amir as his birthday is only a few days away. Got the cake, all was nicely arranged. We then checked in. After resting for a few hours, we then went to have our dinner at Pizza hut and Yan was already there arranging the surprise. Amir, u really blushed bro.

B'day Boy in Yellow

We then went to Petaling St for another round of shopping then headed back to the hotel to change and then to 'The Loft' at Zouk by cab. Nightlife there was ok but still prefer Singapore.

Ended at 3am and we were gone once we reached the comfort of our hotel. ZZzzzz.....

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Holidays....!!!! Yeay!!!

2007-12-14T01:49:00.000+08:00

Went to work this morning. I don't know why, but I like so happy... But the time today seems to pass really slow. At last, its over. Can't wait to get back home. Got so many stuff to settle. I haven't pack my bag.

Start packing the moment I reached home. Thinking of taking a nap, but my eyes just won't listen to my brain. Their too busy helping my other side of the brain wander off as far as KL. Deary called and informed me that he's on the way home. Our plan was for him to meet me at my house and then take a cab to beach road to meet the rest.

Really feeling so excited. Took a few pics with my kids. Print out for them. Well, the reason why I printed it out was so that if anything were to happen to me while holidaying, at least they have something latest to remember me by. It's sounds so cliche, but that's me. I always like to have both positive and negative thoughts.

In the cab otw to Beach Rd.
Met the rest and filled our stomach before we started our journey. At 10.30pm, we started boarding the coach. They were so many people going for a holiday. That's why lah it's so difficult to get the tickets initially. At 10.45pm, we were well on our way to KL via second link.

A little of camwhoring before we boarded the bus......

The Heroes
The Angels

I really force myself to sleep. Furthermore, the bus was quite comfy. But there's no need for me to force actually. Soon after we passed the ckeckpoint, I was fast asleep. But woke up halfway and found out that Deary was still playing his PSP. I nagged at him to sleep. Well, I want him to get as many rest as possible cos we won't be getting a good one in KL. Sorry sayang for scolding you, but come to think of it, padan muka you... Haha!!!

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Kual Lumpur, here we come!!!!!!

2007-12-12T22:40:00.000+08:00

Finaly everything is confirmed. The bus tickets have been booked. The hotel reserved. Immirza will be joining us. 7 of us will spend our holiday together. Yeay!!!!

We will board the coach at Lavender on Friday at 10.30pm. Our plan is to get the tixs back home once we reached KL. Just hope that we can get the tixs back to Singapore. If not, then maybe we can think of just staying there permanently... hahaha!!!!

Bought many stuff prior to Deary's bonus. Deary bought for me a printer because he know that I need the printer for my school. We also shared money and bought a pink Finepix camera. Deary also bought an advanced birthday present for Syahid. It's an mp4. He also bought a running shoes for himself. The rest of the shopping will be at Kuala Lumpur.

Our budget for the whole Holiday will be S$500.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

I really need a break man!!!!

2007-12-11T23:25:00.000+08:00

My body was aching all over. My legs are giving way sooner or later... Arrrggghhhh!!!!!!! I'm feeling so damn tired.... What's with the neverending attachment ( 7 more days to go). Haiz!!!

Deary smsed telling me how much bonus he's getting. Oklah, alright... just nice... so does that mean that we can go ahead and start planning for our holiday? Well, you see, we did plan that we want to go for a holiday a few days ago. Although its last minute, really hope that we can go ahead with the plan. Deary knew that I really longed for a holiday especially since that we never had one ever since we are together.

The furthest we went is Johor... Hahaha!!! pathetic right. Iniatially Deary suggested that we just go together. Just the 2 of us. But I disagree. I want to go with friends cause personally I think we can have that intimate time during our Honeymoon. It's gonna be a special one. So let save it first. Sorry sayang, I really hope u understand and accept my point of view.

Waiting for confirmation from everyone then we can proceed in reservations of transportation and hotel. As for now, Amir, Iswandi, Yan n partner already confirmed that they are going.

As for Immirza, really hope that you can make it gerl. You really need a break. Forget about what happen and just indulge and pamper yourself. Everything will be fine, trust me.

Getting excited already.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

ZOUK Out

2007-12-09T10:22:00.000+08:00

I've been around for more than 26 years, and this is the first time that I going to Zouk Out. Planning to party till dawn with Deary's prison's friends. Khai bought the ticket for us 2 weeks ago with each tickets costing $38.

Deary had to go first as his cohort were having a get together thingy. So our plan was for me to go there on my own and meet Deary and his friends at Sentosa. I took my own sweet time to get there. Deary kept smsing asking me what time I will be there. As usual, he won't say that he misses me and really wants me to be there by his side ASAP. Hahaha!!! But sayang, I tahu...

Reached Sentosa around 3pm. The weather was great but lazy to swim. So we laze around.

Around evening, the organisers started to set up and organise everything. Crowd control officials are ready to go. And us, raring to start our partying. Before that, we got ourselves high will all the booze that some of them brought. But I don't dare to make myself drunk.

Around 8.30, we made our way in just to get the tag and waited for the latecomers outside. Finally, when everyone's ready to start partying, off we go.

But I just don't know why... all of us are so shagged. Immirza was emotionally upset and kept crying. There's one thing that you have to note, never drink when you are emotionally down. The consequences can be pretty ugly. Trust me, been there done that. As for the rest, Khai and partner was missing half way, Siti K n partner macam biskut, jap ada jap takder. Tose who stayed together were Nid, Im, Amir, Iswandi, Yan, Lisa, Deary n myself.

Slowly, one by one dropped like a pinball. Yan n partner gave way and went back ard 4am. Nid also went home shortly after. The surviving peeps just hang around at one corner and just gaze at the bunch of partygoers dancing their way into the late night waiting for sunrise. Amir, Deary and myself had a nice massage at a tentage. Nice... relaxing...

And soon after, we gave way. We decided to make our way out from that place and by 6am we're at Harbourfront. Then, Home Sweet Home.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Sian ah!!!

2007-12-07T22:55:00.000+08:00

Today is officially the last day of our attachment. For the rest of my cohort, but not for me. I still have 9 days of replacement to go through. You may be wondering why so many days of MC. Well, it's all 'hutang' from last term plus this term. What to do, have to pay back means have to pay back lor.

Luckily the ward that I was attached to or should I say the room I was assigned to was marvelous. The staff was excellent, the bonding with my patient can be felt. Well, my room was actually for patients undergoing rehabilitation. Those who suffered from stroke, Traumatic brain injury, recovering from a major operation from which the limbs gave way, amputees and many more.

These people are the ones that are unable to do their activities of daily living. Things that we take for granted like bathing, walking, sitting up in bed, or just a simple chore like feeding, buttoning even holding a cup. They are the people that God chose to go through a difficult part in their life. Some are lucky, they are able to at least regain 80% of their pre state. But some, they are totally dependent on their family, spouse and even maid. There are also those unlucky ones but no less brave who had no one to look after them. Their wife rejected them after their limbs were amputated, their children refused to take the burden of caring for them, or simply because they have absolutely no one in this world to look after them. Sad right?

Looking at these people somehow set me thinking how life would be if these things happen to me. Or maybe to my love ones... will I have the courage to go on? Will I? At this very moment, I thank ALLAH for giving me all the blessings in life.

A wonderful Family, a loving Fiance, 2 adorable kids. What more can I ask for?

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

An outing with our Family

2007-11-25T22:59:00.000+08:00

The kids were bugging us like crazy to bring them for an outing. It's about time actually. Furthermore, we already sign up for an Islander membership. Yah, why not.

They don't really get to go out unless it's with us or their grandmother. Their Dad, huh! He doesn't even bother. The furthest he went with the kids is the playground below. But it's up to him. I don't want the kids to feel neglected. Seriously, I've been neglecting them. I'm too self centered. Busy with my own stuff.

When we tell them that we are bringing them for an outing, they were estatic. They were jumping like a monkey. Ha!ha!

We went to Sentosa by Cable car. They were like so happy. Seeing the joys in their eyes really made my heart melt. Inside, I was really asking myself. Am I really a bad mother? Have I been neglecting them all these while? Haiz! Sorry my boys. Mama promise that the times ahead will be better.

It was really cloudy. The kids was praying hard that it won't rain. Alhamdullilah, God answered their prayers. The weather was wonderful.

They really enjoyed the Luge. We played many times. After the Luge, we watched the Sons of The Sea. Really a nice melodrama. The lightings and fireworks were wonderful.

Really had fun with the Boys. Dunno when will be our next outing together. Overall, I spend nearly $150 just for them. But it's ok. What matters most is that they are happy. But once in a while should be no problem. If everyday, bankrupt lor.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Our Sentosa trip

2007-11-17T23:50:00.000+08:00

It's been quite sometime since we last spend our time together. Seems like eons. We then decided to really enjoy ourselves, just the two of us. Our choice, Sentosa.

We took the skytrain in. At the counter, we saw this Sentosa Islander thingy and since it's kinda cheap for the family package, we decided to sign up. It cost about $50 for 2 adults and 3 kids. So, why not. After signing up, we proceeded with our plan.

We took the skyride, then the luge, in fact we tried the Luge 3x. Why not, it's only 5 bucks for Islander. Normal price $9. Really worth it. Really enjoyed it.

After a really tiring afternoon, we had our meal at Sakae Sushi. Ate quite a lot, but still, a plate of rice is still the best.

We really need this outing. Our busy schedule don't permits us this luxury. And even when we do go out, it's always with the companion of our friends. It's not that I don't enjoy it, but once in a while, just being together or to be precise, just the 2 of us, really helps us to bond. It's just so different. There's no need for me to share his attention with anyone. Same goes for him. It's really a nice feeling. Just being together.

Thank you so much Sayang. I really enjoyed myself and I'm really sorry about the things that happened between us the last few days. I will try my very best to be what you want me to be. I know that it's all for my own good. I just need you to guide me along the way.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

My Birthday and another surprise

2007-11-13T23:18:00.000+08:00

Had to werk today. What to do... duty comes first... first day at ward 64 yet again...

Received a few b'day wishes via sms from Atikah, Hafa, Pamela, Mat Noh, My bitches, Peah n Puteri. Thanks....

Reached werk only, Mdm Heng wished me. Dunno how she knew about it. As usual just get on with werk.

Then came another surprise. A few of my group mates bought a cake for me. U should't have gone to that extend gerls...

Here we go... another cake...

Again, I felt really happy. Thanks Magdeline, Pamela, Hui Juan, Maisarah n Kiat Siang.
This past year has been a wonderful one for me. Basically I'm satisfied with whatever I have. A family who loves me, a fiance who adores me, frens who finally appreciated me. My financial situations are getting better. My results are improving. And best of all, I got a sponsorship. What more can I ask for. Syukur Alhamdullilah. It's all Allah's gift to me.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Few more hours to go for my B'Day

2007-11-12T02:15:00.000+08:00

Just a few more hrs to go before I'm officially 26. Whoa! Time sure past quickly. Felt like just yesterday I celebrated my 5th birthday. Wake up Jamie, u are getting older! Get the fact yah babe. Haha!!!

Actually I'm feeling sad. My baby is in camp. I'm celebrating my b'day without him by my side. But it's ok. I'm fine with it. I can't do aniting anyway. So yalah, at least he already celebrated with me last Sat. Will be meeting Puteri n Peah later and we will be celebrating together. Cut the cake at my hse then we will chill downstair, that's our plan. Told Deary about it and he never said aniting. So yalah, just waiting for them.

Sumting inside me tells me that I will be getting a sweet surprise. Hope it's gonna be my Deary. I dun know why but the feeling that Deary is out of camp today is very strong. Why? Well, just now, he send me to school as I have SIM training and he have to go to SPEAR at Changi Prison for his tactical. He was bringing an extraordinary small bag. When questioned, he said that he left all his stuff at HTA last week. Oh! ok. Then saw his frens, they too bring a small bag... It just left me wondering.

I just dun want to put my hopes too high. I'm afraid that I will be disappointed. But there's no harm in hoping right?

While waiting for Puteri n Peah, Deary's Mum smsed me and asked me whether do i know where Deary n his bro went to. HUH??? Isn't he in camp? What I heard from his mum next sends my heart jumping. Like it's gonna come out very soon. She said that Deary doesn't need to stay in today and he called home earlier to ask his bro to join him. That very moment, I felt like giving Deary a wake up bite and tell him that if next time he really wanted to surprise me, he should at least tell his mum.

At least now I know that I'm gonna be with him on my B'day. Getting excited already.

Peah came and after telling her what i knew n suspected, barely 10mins later, puteri came with the cake. Puteri gave me a pretzie from Bodyshop n Giordano. Then my sisters also gave me a pretzie from bodyshop.

Puteri insisted that I follow her downstairs. Without hesitating and suspect anything, I gladly followed her. Walked towards the carpark. Saw a familiar bike whick looks like Deary's Bro's. Further up, saw Deary's bike, and there he was with Amir, Ishaq and Iswandi.

I ran towards Deary n gave him a big hug with tears in my eyes. That's really sweet darling. didn't expect you to go to this extend. You are not the romantic sort of guy, but what u did tonight was way beyond my expectation.

Amir n Iswandi gave me a pretzie, also from Bodyshop... HAHAHA!!! What a coincidence. Then Deary gave me his pretzie for me from Giordano. Got 5 pretzies. 3 from Bodyshop, 2 from Giordano. Haha!!! And all along, Puteri n Peah knew about the plan in wanting to surprise me. Wah lau!

Before the stroke of midnight, we all went upstairs to cut the cake.

I'm the happiest gerl on earth. On my old day, I'm surrounded by my beloved family, lovely frens and best of all, my one n only SAYANG. It's just great.

To my Sayang,
Thanks Baby. I really dun expect this sweet surprise. This is the first time that anyone have done what u did for me. There's no werds that can describe my happiness n gratitude towards u. Luv u so much.

To my frens,
Puteri, Peah, Amir n Iswandi,
Just your presence have made my life so cheerful. Glad that God created this bond for us. God really love me alot for He gave me the most wonderful people anyone can ask for. By any chance if anyone of you were to meet God before me, pls tell him that I say thank you for giving you guys to me. Sayang korang semua.

To my MUM,
Mak, today I got my first kiss from you. I ever told Ilyas that the greatest gift on my b'day will b your kiss. As far as i can remember, u never kissed me. You are not the type that will show ur love by affections. But i know all along that you love me so much and everything that you have done for me, I can't possibly repay it back. You are always there for me in times of tears and laughter. Not once u complained. I love you so much Ma. And THANK YOU.

My pretzies.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Birthday Celebration

2007-11-11T10:10:00.000+08:00

Wow! It's been such a long time since i update my blog. Been busy with werk n stuff. No time man!!! No time. I'm a busy woman u know... khakhakha!!!!

My birthday is coming up and Deary is planning sumting for me. Dunno what but I'm sure am excited.

Deary said that he's planning to go clubbing and at the same time celebrate my birthday. He chose Plush, the old Momo. Before going there, we went for a late dinner at Swensen Orchard. What a waste of money. The food was terrible. The service sucks. The price... exhorbitant for the service u get.... anyway, we proceed to Plush at 11 plus.

There we met his bros from the prisons services, my best bitches, Peah n Puteri and my bros, Yan, Mat Nor and Naz.

Sumting happened before we went in and I totally regret my burst out. I dunno why I reacted that way and I know that I should not have done that. Everyone present was shocked at my outburst. To Khai n partner, I'm truly very sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I really appreciated u guys and thank God that Ilyas have u all as his frens.

To my Deary, I'm really sorry sayang. I promise that I will change. A new year with a new person. That I promise. Thanks for all that you've done. Pls dun spend that kind of money on me baby. Luv u to the MAx.

To all those that turms up, Amir, Iswandi, Ida, Naziah, Yan, Naz, Puteri, Peah, Mat Nor..... thanks you guys. I'm really happy to be surrounded by people who loves me.

Once again to ALL... thanks youu....

Countdown to 13 November

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

2nd Day Raya with Deary's Family

2007-10-14T00:21:00.000+08:00

Really very sleepy. Managed to get only 3 hrs of sleep. Get ready and headed to Deary's house.Colour theme for today... orange...

Met the rest of his family. In total we occupy 2 cars and 1 lorry.

Went to Deary's mum's family. What a big family. Happy to be with them.

Deary with his FamilyMy future Family
The Ladies
The Gentlemen
Deary's craziness

Last stop was my house. All my mum's siblings were at my house. Ramai giler. But they all went inside the rooms to give space. They had to call it a day cos Deary had to book in early tommorrow morning. Kesian Sayang aku. We can only do our visiting on weekends.

As for me, I had to werk the afternoon shift. Luckily it's in the afternoon. If not, it's gonna be tiring for me. Gdnight everyone.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Selamat Hari Raya

2007-10-13T04:12:00.000+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA

Alhamdullilah, Syawal is here again. Kinda sad to leave Ramadhan not knowing whether am I able to meet this wonderful month again.

As usual, we all will wake up early on the first day of Raya. Hearing the Takbir actually make my emotions twirl. Tears welled up in my eyes thinking about all my love ones that have passed on. At the same time, I'm happy to have the people around me celebrating this day.

Deary:
Sayang, this is our second year celebrating this wonderful month together.
Being with you is a blessing from above.
Every second with you in my life contains happiness.
I'm really happy celebrating Syawal with you again.
Your love for me is so great that I can'r possibly relate.
Thanks for being the KING in my heart.
May all our dreams will become a reality.
With this, your baby here would like to take this opportunity to to wish you,
Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir dan Batin.
May there be more Syawal for us, Insya Allah.

Planned with Deary that I will go to his house first then he will follow me to my house and go visiting together as his family will not be going out on the first day. So there we go... to his house first.

At his house.....

Then at my house, as usual, morning of Hari Raya is always a teary affair. That's the moment when you will kneel down in front of your parent and ask for their forgiveness. Being the eldest of the family, I had to go first and each time, I'm the first one to start crying. And my 2nd sis too. But my 3rd sis usually managed to control her tears pretty well.

Then after that, it's my Deary's turn. I asked eveyone to go out first cos it's embarassing you know. Then I kissed his hand and asked for his forgiveness. He gave me a green packet...!!!! Great!!!

Off we go visiting. First stop: Yew Tee. As both my maternal grandparents has already passed on, it's has always been my Mak Besar's house as she is the first sibling for my mum. Everyone of my maternal family are there....

Last stop at Choa Chu Kang, my uncle's house. Reached home close to 3am. Shagged siak but very happy. Deary slept over at my house because tommorrow, it's my turn to follow him to his relatives' house. Got to wake up at 6am... My first time visiting with his family....ooohhhh!!!

To all Muslims, Selamat Hari Raya!!!! Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Yea Yea!!! besok Raya!!!

2007-10-12T01:02:00.000+08:00

YAY!!!! Tommorrow Raya....!!!

Today we only work till 10.30 am.... Only us Muslims. Pamela bingit... kakaka!!!
At werk, the Raya mood is obvious. Everyone looks so happy. After work, went straight home to change.

Deary is booking out at 12pm. Still got some stuff to buy. Deary came to fetch me and we went to Queensway to look for Deary's shoe. We spent close to one hr going in and out all the shoe shops at Queensway but Deary still had not decided which one to buy. Saw one, but no size. Getting impatient already. Ingatkan perempuan yg fickle when comes to shopping, haiz, rupanya lelaki lagi teruk.

Finally, Deary love one particular shoe that cost $139 but after discount it's $94. But left the display piece. Nak taknak, he decied to take it. Next destination, Jurong point to get my shoe.

Headed straight to Charles n Keith and chose a pair that is only one inch high. Price ok... nice... Got my size and paid for it. All done less than 10mins. B, you took 1hr, but see, I took only 10mins... Hahaha!!!

Got socks for boths my kids and hair accessories for me. It's 4pm already and after confirming that we got everything, we head home. On the way out of Jurong point, saw a Harvey Norman van and someone inside waving frantically at us. He looks like a Mat Kotai but actually it's my old fren Scoob... hahaha!!! Mat kotai ehk... with his long hair... oklah...sajak nama tu... Scoob Mat Kotai...

Deary went home straight to break fast with his family. I do some last minute cleaning up of my room.

At 12 midnight, my whole family went downstairs to play fire sticks... we all macam budak kecik
It's been a while since we last played bunga api. Enjoyed ourselves...

Chatted with Deary on the phone and we reflect on the past. The day we first got to know each other. our first Hari Raya together... how we called our ex's on the eve of raya... and lots more....

Got to sleep early, tommorrow have to wake up early.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

BUSY BUSY BUSY

2007-10-10T00:12:00.000+08:00

Since the first day of attachment, I've been really busy. No time to even update my blog. Haiz! Well, Attachment is ok though. I still have not spoke to that Bit*h. Tak kuasa. The ward staff are okay. Much better than the last few wards. They are friendly and approachable.

Hari Raya is just around the corner. So much to do and so little time. Haiyoh! But I'm really anticipating Syawal.... This year our colour theme is green. All 4 of us... actually, even my family and Deary's family will wear green... hahaha!!!!

My eyes is giving way and my pillow is calling. Till then, take care peeps. Luv ya....!!!

And for my classmates, our Raya outing has been set. It's on the 3rd Nov. So kindly let me know whether you will be joining us or not. Cos We are thinking of getting transport. Tata!!!!

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Happy 1year anniversary Sayang

2007-10-06T02:13:00.000+08:00

Happy 1Year Anniversary My Halus Boy Ilyas.

These past year was really challenging. We went through many obstacles and brave through stormy weathers to make our relationship a strong one. And it sure has become the strongest. May all our wishes come true in the years to come... Love u lots Deary...

Yup! It's been a fruitful one year of Us being together. Never felt this satisfaction in my past relationship before. And I'm really very happy.

While waiting for the rest at BoonLay

We met the Coca-cola guys at Boonlay. Then as usual we headed to Makan Shiok. There, the rest actually planned to go Rouge near to Centrepoint. Well, we don't really have plan on our own, and we want to be together when the clock strike 12midnight to mark our anniversary. So, yah, we decided to join them.

Fraction of us. The rest dunno where...Fino, Deary n me

After Rouge ended at 4am, all of us don't feel like going home yet, so we decided to 'melalak'. We then headed to Scotts Rd for Karaoke.

Deary merajuk tak dapat nyanyi.Lawa lah tu muka....

I don't sing so I past my time camwhoring.

We all had our sahur at West Coast Mcdonald. Thanks Sani n Zai, for treating us. Reached home near to 9am. Later still got plan. Deary is planning a romantic dinner just for the 2 of us. Actually I wanted to plan as Deary had no time, but I decided to let Deary handle. Let's see how he planned at the shortest time. I just told him what I like. It must be fine dining, romantic ambience, within budget, possibly by the beach. The rest, it's up to you sayang.

I went to meet him at Woodlands so as not to waste time. I did ask him where are we heading and he just gave me a Ssshhhh sign. Hmmm!!! Another surprise huh? It's really a long journey and my butt starting to get numb already. Along the way, I can't help but imagining how our night will be.

He then turned into East Coast Park. As far as I'm concern, Gurame closed down. Where in the hell are we going? We walked and stopped outside this restaurant called ZEN. Well, the setting is nice as we both love Zen. Fine dining and it's by the beach. And furthermore ECP held our first meeting. But the ambience? It was very squeezy. He was a bit disappointed but I assure him to plan again for my upcoming birthday celebration. He have ample time to do that and I expect a tip top results.

So baby, it's ok that our plan did not turn out well this time. What matters most is the thought. I still love you the same. HAHA!!!

I'm really famished, so we scouted for different place to dine. We went to Chimes, but it does not appeal to us. As it's getting late, we decided to go to Newton as it also holds yet another sweet memory for both of us. There you go, a fine dining at Newton Food Centre surrounded by a romantic smoky ambience. What a typical Singaporean. What more can I ask for?

I really enjoyed myself today on our 1st anniversary. Thanks Sayang for going to these extend. I really appreciate it baby. Love you to the MAX.....

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Surprise surprise

2007-10-05T20:24:00.000+08:00

Yeah! It's Friday again. I always look forward to Friday as it is a very special day for both me and Deary. This is the day that Deary will book out and Friday is the day that I can 'lepaskan rindu'.

Called Deary a few times but no answer. Smsed, also no reply. Well, maybe Deary is having his lecture. Only heard from him at 6.00pm telling me that he just finished and on the way home. So late... Wanted to meet him at Woodlands but he insisted that that I just wait for him to fetch me. Why Sayang? Aren't you excited to meet me? You never miss me is it?

Our plan, he go home first, break fast, rest a while, fetch me and head to Boon Lay to meet his Coke Friends. So what can I say, I just followed his order.

8pm already and Deary still haven't called me yet. The last sms received was when he just reached home. Why Sayang? I really don't understand.

Suddenly the bell rang and someone at the door asked to see Siti. My mum answered and her question to that guy,"Which Siti?" Well, all 3 of my dad's gerls are Siti. He mentioned my full name and I was quite blur. But something in his hand just gave me the idea. It was a bouquet of pink flowers and a teddy. WOW!!!!!!

Just yesterday we had a talk and I was complaining how unromantic he is and I reminded him about our anniversary. He told me to shut up. So this is why. The late reply, the silence, not wanting me to meet you at Woodlands. You have something up your sleeves huh?

I was really happy as this was my first time getting a bouquet of flowers my entire life. And a surprise. Thank you Baby Deary. I really appreciate your gesture. Never expect you to go to such an expense.

Planning a romantic dinner tommorrow to celebrate our 1st year anniversary. Have a few places in mind. Now, I'm just waiting for my Deary. Can't wait to hug him.

Deary,
Thanks a lot Baby. Yup, these one whole year with you has given me nothing but happiness. I will trade nothing in this world for you. You are the best thing that has ever happen to me. You brought light to my dark life. You gave me strength to move on. Despite all the hardships that we went through together, we hang on tight and that make us stronger. I pray to GOD ALMIGHTY that we will always be ONE, and only death will do us part. But that only for a while as we will meet in Heaven. Love you so much my Halus Boy.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

A new ME

2007-10-04T23:22:00.000+08:00

Puteri promised me that she will go with me to have my hair rebonded. Tried contacting her since yesterday night, but in vain. Where the hell is she? Is she alright? Hope she's ok. AArrggghhhh!!!!!!! Decided to go by myself.

Went to a hair saloon in Bukit Batok with Syahid. After asking their price range which are quite affordable, I went in and decided to have a go.

Rebonded my fringe, had a hair treatment and layered my hair. Total cost of the day: $90.00. Oklah. Satisfied with the results. And maybe you guys can judge the outcome. Really excited to hear my Deary's comment. But I know that he will say that I look ok.

Got home, had a nap and after break fast, I brought Syahid to Jurong point as the rest of my family went to Geylang.

Only then Puteri called me and said she just woke up. She explained that yesterday, she spend the whole day with someone. Asked her to come along with us to JP. She agreed. That's Puteri, always on the go.

Happy to see her eyes lit up when she talked about her day with that person. Are you in love Puteri. As a friend, here is my advice;

If you think he's the one for you, do take things as it comes. Try to win him over with your real self. Cos hypocrites never lasts. But just remember one thing, you are too special for anyone to step over and take advantage of. So, all the best gerl. And just remember that your friend will always be here for you. That's what frens are for right.

Missing my Halus Boy pretty much. One more day and I can meet him. Can't wait.

Deary Baby,

two more days to our 1 year anniversary... Wonder what he have in store for me...

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Congrats to myself

2007-10-03T23:56:00.000+08:00

Really can't sleep yesterday. After sending Syahid to school, I managed to catch a few winks. Woke up at 10am after receiving a call from my uncle. He told me that my uncle in prison will be giving me a few hundred. As for my family, everyone got $100 bucks each. Well, he just sold his house so he decided to gave us a token. He gave me more cos I'm his favourite niece and he's really proud about me joining nursing. This is not the first time he's giving me money.

After that piece of good news, I began planning what I can do with that money. It's been a while since I splurge on myself. And so I decided, I'm gonna rebond my fringe, cut my hair layered and go for a hair treatment. Told Deary about my plan and he agreed. It's time for a little change. Maybe for our 1 yr anniversary. And so I will be going with Puteri to get my hair done. Feeling excited already.

Suddenly I just remembered that the results will be out today. I quickly checked the website. To my relieve, I got kind of a satisfactory results. And my GPA too. Everything looked good. All my efforts paid off pretty well. But actually, I can do better. Will try harder next year. Many of my classmates also did pretty well. Congrats u peeps. And my utmost appreciation to Ms Rafika. She's really a great Class Advisor. We are really lucky to have her. Just too bad that it's only for 3mths. But she sure is like an angel sent to us. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

I also receive a $60 'fidyah' voucher given by MUIS. Alhamdullilah... this is what they call rezeki. Gonna give that voucher to mummy.

Collected my baju kurung. Yah, although it's a bit funny with the look, somehow, it's kinda nice.

Persuaded Deary to report sick tomorrow. Then maybe we can settle many things. Go Braddell to collect the voucher at MUIS. Then he can accompany me to have my hair makeover. We can also do last minute shopping. Many things lah. But, on second thought, I do want to give him a surprise. But again, I really hope that he can be with me tommorrow. He never said anything but he reprimanded me in a joking manner for instigating him into taking MC. Haha!!! Peduli apa....!!!!
Just keeping my hopes up that he will take MC.

Puteri told me that she got the job at SATS. Congrats gerl. With all the good news, suddenly I can't wait for Hari Raya. Looking forward to celebrating it.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Getting together

2007-10-03T04:14:00.000+08:00

Time really flies quite fast. Without us realising, it's only a week more to attachment and less than 2weeks to Hari Raya. Wow!

And it's been 2 mths since deary started his training. And during that period, I've been a very good girl. Staying at home, lazying around, sleep.... (tapi tak gemuk2. makin kurus lagik ada).

I was damn bored and decided to find khakhis to break fast together. We decided to have it today.

Initially, Titi wanted to join Fyra, Putri, Fafa n me. But somehow, she smsed me yesterday and told me that she can't join us as she was having a bit of problem. Was a bit dissappointed, but Titi, just hope that your problems will be over. I will pray for you gerl.

So there you go, 4 of us. Break our fast at Cahaya Far East. Then we headed to Wheelock. Did some window shopping. Then we headed to Marina Square and chilled out at Starbucks. Talked, gossipped... scandals revealed... wow! I'm really oblivious to what's happening to my surrounding. Camwhoring.....

Then at 10.30pm, we decided to head home. Shared a cab with Putri.

Did not chat on the phone with Deary as he told me that we was really tired and wanted to have an early night. Had a quick updates while in the cab and off he went to dreamland. Thanks Baby for giving me that trust. I really appreciate it. Love you so much sayang.

And to Putri, Fyra and Fafa, nice going out with you gerls.... Anyway, our next outing will be in a few days time... will update you gerls on that.

To all my cohort mates, tommorrow will be the results.... All the best....
Goodnight....

<<**Sit(I)lyas Forever**>>
<>

Got my new Lenovo laptop

2007-10-01T23:39:00.000+08:00

Got up quite early today. Was supposed to visit my uncle but somehow something came up along the way. So my sis and I decided to go shopping at Tangs.

Not many people and we browse through all dept. Bought something for Deary for our 1 yr anniversary. Alsoo for my kids. As for myself, just a handbag. Shoes, aarrrggghhh, I really dun know what they have... all the pattern that I like had no sizes... even for my sis.... from size 6 to size 9... no stock... duh!!!

All along, I was really hungry. My stomach was grumbling all the time. Both of us were not fasting and I suggested to go get sumting, bt my sis don't want cos she said it's embarrassing. Then we decided to buy back from Cahaya. Upon reaching home, we ate. Actually in the cab we already took bites of chocolate. Cannot tahanlah...

Took a nap while waiting for the laptop guy to call. I had to go to Lengkok as they will sent it there. Got the call at 8 pm and rushed down.

I received a Lenovo laptop, complete with a bag, a mouse and a thumbdrive. All for $530 after subsidies of $200 from ITE. Actually, I applied for a laptop under the low income student scheme. And thank God I got it among thousands of application.

Deary was kinda excited about the lappy cos he paid half. The other was given by my parent after much persuasion. Thanks Deary, Mum and Dad....

Happy Children's Day to my wonderful Boys....

Abdul Nursyahid n Abdul Nurhafiz.

Mama Love you lots....

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Snapped at Deary

2007-09-28T01:06:00.000+08:00

Had a great tiff with Deary yesterday. Somehow I got pissed off with the changes in him. He had no classes yesterday. I called him at 9pm and he told me he was hanging out with his bunk mates... (all week with them, still not enough) ok, told him to settle his stuff earlier cos he told me he wanted to have an early night.
Waited til 10.30 trying to call him but in vain. The calls were not answered. Managed to communicate with him near to 11pm. So angry that I lost control. I sanpped.
I told him about my feelings all these while and he couldn't take it. Never seen him so agitated before.
Talked for a few minutes and our conflicts solved. Came to a compromisation. Actually, he just need a proper time management. That will solve all problem. He promised that he will do just that. And as for me, he is still my Halus boy, it's just me that was afraid of my own shadow.

Actually, I really felt bad for snapping at him. I'm truly sorry sayang.

Today, as usual, really bored staying at home.... and I'm missing my Halus boy really badly....
Then I decided to sms him....

My sms:
B, seriously, I'm missing you pretty badly.
It's been sometime that I had these feelings.
The last was when you just started your training.
After that, it was under control.
Today, especially now, missing you had escalates to a level that may effect my sanity.
How sayang? I know you never miss me.
Especially after yesterdays' incident and I made you angry.
I had never seen you so agitated like that before.
I really regret it sayang. I promise that it won't happen again.
Please get back to me once u received this sms if you don't want this crazy woman to attck HTA due to missing her fiance.
Such a hot topic. Confirm it will make a frontpage news.
Love you and miss you to the maximum boiling point.

Don't worry, I'm still holding on to my sanity pretty well.... hahaha!!!!!!

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

This is for you Putri Nadirah

2007-09-26T15:43:00.000+08:00

Well, we actually started quite badly...

The first time I saw her was during our one day try out at a nursing home in Toa Payoh (forgot the name). Her boyfren or should I say ex-boyfren sent her. The moment I saw her, I just disliked her face. I nicknamed her spongebob. Hahaha!!! Sori gerl.....

We got to know each other closer during our 1.1 attachment at SGH ward 57. She was in a different team but in the same attachment group as I am. We were not that close. Somehow she made frontpage news about an incident involving 'W' and 'A'. We both took sides. I sided 'A' (regretted it though). And she sided 'W'.

Putri was close with 'W' as they were buddies for 6 years. The problem with Putri, she had a very bad attitude towards work. She was always feeling sick and soon she was popular amongs the teachers again. One day, 'A' and I saw Putri, 'W' and another gerl took a their own break. 'A' and I decided to complain as our target was clearly at 'W' cos he was 'A''s enemy. Cut it short, all 3 were caught but only Putri got into deep sh*t. So out of frustration and to protect her integrity, Putri quit (that's a really stupid thing to do gerl).

As for me, I learnt a big lesson for siding with 'A' as she was a bloody Bit*h and she did got me into trouble with the Nursing Head. BAckstabber. I will never forgive you 'A'. And I swear I will make your life fu*king miserable.

After a few months, I managed to contact Putri through frenster and we clarify everything. So now we are... back together for a fresh start. I've found a fren I've been looking for in Putri. Told Putri the truth and ask for her forgiveness. At least I admit about the complaining thingy, unlike that idiotic 'A'.

To Putri,

Thanks for being my fren. Rest assured that you will always have someone to fall back whenever you need. I will always lend you my shoulder to cry on, be your laughing partner... and your ever laser gossiping bitch... hahaha...

>>**Sit(I)lyas Forever**<< >>Staying strong since 06.10.06<<

Never appreciated

2007-09-24T17:42:00.000+08:00

The past 25 years of my life, I never felt appreciated before. You may assumed that I am exaggerating. Well, I'm not.
Why I'm saying this? Well, I don't know. What I do know is that people around me just behaved like I'm invisible. Since I was in primary school, I was often tha target of bullies in my school. They called me names and often took advantage of me. I don't really have good friends accept for a chinese girl by the name of Serene. She was also like me, being bullied and the object of sarcasm.
In secondary, I decided to stopped these things and began to appear brave. I hung out with those gangsters, smoked and played truant. Got into fights and did whatever my group did to gain reputation. It all took a turn when I was in Sec 3. The group I was with was caught for beating up a gerl who nearly died. They were punished. That's when I changed. Became very close to 3 gerls and we were together till sec 4. But least did I expect that one of my so called best fren, actually had ill intention of me. This person was quite pretty, soft spoken, gentle and very pious... that's what everyone knew her for... She was jealous and tried her best to bring me down. well, she managed to but just for a while. The people around me somehow saw her true colours. Since then, I dun really care if I have friends or not.
Joined the working force and was happy. But all along.... my relationship was not a good one. I was often misunderstood. My good intention always backfired. Like when I tried helping a friend who was having trouble in her love life, I was there for her all along, bt when everything was fine, I was called kepo... and her boifey hated me.
Even recently, I tried helping a friend, and again I was the bad guy.... Just a few days ago, I tried to bring my cousins together, but no one even thanked me for doing that and even felt disgusted about my blunder. Even the person I love the most don't appreciate it. What a life.
I sometime pray to God to take away my life. Maybe, I will be appreciated when I'm gone. That's a norm.
The most painful thing is when your closest people somehow called you irritating or worst, disgusted. You tried your very best to make things better, but it never did. It got worst. The least you could do is just wait, hoping that their perception towards you will change. Or maybe you wish u will just drop dead. It's the end of all misery. I should really learn how to say no when people come to me for help. Like the other day, a friend actually told me that her boifey had an affair and she knew who the gerl was. She asked me to call the gerl and talked to her. If it was the old Siti, I would gladly help, but sorry gerl, I dun want to be labelled as kepo. I told her that I don't dare and I don't want to get implicated. The only thing that I can do is to pray for her.
Felt others pain and tried my best to cure it, but The pain in me, no one knew.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Missing my late Uncle

2007-09-23T21:16:00.000+08:00

Been busy the past few days... as usual... weekend mah...
I've not been fasting the last few days... My gastric is giving me problems...
The arrival of Ramadhan usually gave me mix feelings. I'm happy that after 1 year of waiting, Ramadhan is here again. This is the month when we try to collect as many 'pahala' as possible. This is a very sacred month that every Muslim waited for each year. This is also the month that us missing our love ones are xceptionally higher. Especially those who are far away or who had already passed on.

As for me, I'm missing my late uncle pretty badly. Each time I thought about him, it will sent tears in my eyes. My uncle died in 2004 on the eve of National Day. The cause of death, coronary occlusion or in layman term, heart attack. He was just 36 years old then with 4 young children.

He was basically my closest uncle. He can take any type of jokes. Cheerful and outgoing. But as usual, he is often misunderstood. His life was not a walk in the park. He suffered many setbacks since his first divorced. That actually was the start of his painful journey. But never once did the smile on his face fades away. He never failed to try his best to cheer the people around him. Once he start talking, he will never stopped. That's my Uncle.... but people around him never appreciated him. He was often labbelled as irritating, noisy and whatnots. But he doesn't care. Actually, it did get to him. I still remember his last words when he tried to joke around with my sis. Somehow my sis was irritated with his ways, and shooed him away. He said," yelah, korang semua sekarang dah besar eksen apa. Dulu pakcik jugak yg jaga korang. Sekarang pakcik langsung tak dihargai". He passed away after a week.

After he passed way, that was the time when people around him actually acknowledged him. Thats when my sis regretted what she didto him. That's when they keep saying how nice he was. How kind, how he tried his best to give happiness to people, how he tried to show his love, how he helped never saying cannot......Haiz!!! but it's too late u guys... he died not knowing that u guys appreciated him....

That's normal for us. We often never see the good in people we love the most. Yah, somehow, sometimes, tat person appeared irritating, but have u stopped for a second to think why he/she did that? NO!!!!

All you cared was your own feelings. Your water face. Your own happiness. Never once you spared a thought about others. Never once you tried to ask what was going on. Never appreciate the hard work the other person went through for your happiness. These people are the people around you. Be it your family, your partner, your best friends, your classmates, colleagues or even the person u hated most. It's all about urself and not the others.....

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Cuzzin's outing

2007-09-21T03:38:00.000+08:00

I planned an outing with my cuzzins... It was arranged a week ago.... Yesterday, after confirmation, I placed a booking at Sakura Clementi. Well, a foreign voice answered my call. After telling him to reserved for 10pax, I did ask him if they have ala carte menu. He said yes.... Well, all set then. Told them to meet at 6.30pm. But deep down in my heart, I just felt that something was not right.

Upon reaching, we discovered that they only served international buffet and checking with the staff answered all question. The price per person is $26+. It's really not worth it as we don't eat that much especially during fasting. So after a few discussion, we decided to switch place and headed to Al Ameen. Managed to call them n placed our reservation. All 9 of us includes, my 2 sisters, Imah, Bedah, Khairun n Boifey, Ilyas n myself and another of my cuzzie. Kept apologising about the blunder that I made. They did spend a lot on taxi fares. Haiyoh..... Sori you guys... But again, we all enjoyed our little gathering.

After that, the rest went for a game of pool and Deary n I headed to town to meet Deary's friends. We planned to catch a movie. After getting everyone's approval, we decided to watch The Underdog. The movie will start at 1am and there's still some time.

We then headed to Swensen for ice cream. While waiting, suddenly I heard a loug bang and saw something falling from the sky. I was shocked and dumbfounded at first but after realising it was a human and there was an accident, I wasted no time and rushed towards that person. He was a male in hi 20s. It involved a bike and a taxi. The bike was out of shape and the rear bumper of the taxi was dented. I asked him if he was alright. He appeared fine accept that he was in a state of shock. Then I discovered that there was abrasion on his right arm and upon checking closer, his elbow was hurt pretty badly. There was about 3 cm deep gash until the bone can be seen. Gave him first aid to stop the bleeding. I persuaded him to seek medical attention and he agreed. His thumb was dislocated and funny looking shaped. The ambulance arrived and he was taken to the hospital. Washed my blood covered hands and get back to digging my ice cream. Really glad that I can be of help. And I did remained calm throughout. I'm proud of myself, It's really normal and expected for a nurse to react quickly in any case of emergency. Really hope that the guy is save apart from the minor fractures and abrasion.

Watched the movie. A very funny and hilarious movie. I gave it 4 rating. Got back home at 3am. *YAWN*

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Geylang Serai....

2007-09-17T23:40:00.000+08:00

We planned to go Geylang Serai. Iniatially many more confirmed that they are going and as usual there's always last minute backing out, i understand. At last, only Atikah, Kenny, Zubai, Chantal and us.
Deary played a game of shooting and won a teddy... B, u still owe me a bigger teddy ok...
Actually, I kinda forgotten about Atikah's B'day... luckily Bedah reminded me about it.... Sorry gerl... No pretzie....
I had to go home early cos Deary was not feeling well... actually, he just need my extra tender loving touch, but he doesn't want to admit it... haha!!!! U know I know k sayang...
And a reminder to all, PLS STOP POKING ME U AS*HOLE*..... (u know who you are, n B, that includes you too). It's tiring and painful u know....

Happy Birthday to you Atikah!!!!

Enjoyed myself with the company of my love ones.....

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Happy B'day Siti Nuridahwati

2007-09-16T22:38:00.000+08:00

Did nothing today. Will be breaking fast with Deary and his family. Deary 's getting much better. Thank God. We went to Causeway Point Bazaar to get some food for break fast. There we saw Haizal and Muzammil separately. Muz was posing like a bazaar icon. Duh! He told me he have a stall, but I dun know which one....

Happy 17th Birthday My Dear Friend.

May your years ahead be filled with happiness.

Love you....

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Pity my Deary

2007-09-15T00:39:00.000+08:00

My Baby woke me up around 7am and he told me that he's burning hot. His whole body was covered with red spots like rashes. Is it denggue? Oh God... my Deary looked really bad.
Quickly get ready and called his mom. She came with his dad and brought him to AH. Luckily, there's not many patient. He was the first one.

The Doctor saw him and said that it was due to a bacterial infection. (phew!, lucky it was not haemorragic fever) He was given 2 pine of intravenoous drip. He was shivering pretty bad. But both his 2 most important woman was by his side throughout. Lucky you sayang. He was discharged and given 3 days of MC. Poor baby.
His parents sent me home and immediately went straight to bed. Yesterday I only managed to get less than 2 hrs of sleep.

Baby was still running a temperature when I called him. I felt so helpless. He said that he has no appetite and he feels like shit. Planning to meet Deary tommorrow.

Sayang, rest well ok... eat your medicine properly and don't forget your meals. I will be your nurse and nurse you back to health. That I promise sayang. Love you baby...

Happy 18th Birthday to my dearest Sis, Siti Habeeba....

No pretzie for you as you still owe me mine last year... hahaha

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Break fast with Deary's frens

2007-09-14T23:00:00.000+08:00

Initially, Deary told me that he will book out earlier today as it's fasting month. So instead of 6pm, he will book out at 5.3opm. Planned a few days ago that we will be breaking our fast at Al Ameen with his fellow friends. Just can't wait to meet them. Deary had been telling me lot about them.

I waited for Deary at Al Ameen as it's faster and easier. I reached there very early ,maybe because of the burning desire to meet my baby. Really miss him loads.....

He reached first and we proceeded to place our order. The rest came near to 'buka'.

They are sure a a great bunch to hang out with. Looking at them, I miss my classmates. Not going to see them (my classmates) for the next 3mths. At Al-Ameen, I saw my ex guy, the one I met at NUH... muka mcm siak.... Dunno whether he saw me or not... but even if he did, I'm proud to be sitting next to Deary and in a way telling that jerk that I'm happy. Very happy with my Deary.

After that, Deary went home to change and then we went to Geylang Serai. Deary doesn't look too good. He's running a temperature. But still, we enjoyed each other's company. Did you sayang?

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Outing to Sentosa

2007-09-13T22:05:00.000+08:00

Our class are planning to have an outing to Sentosa. Hope it will be perfect as planned.

I planned with Sabri to meet @ Jurong. But at 9am he smsed me and said he woke up late n he don't feel like going. I told him not be 'mentel' and asked him to get ready and come with Atika as she will be joining us later.

Contacted the others and found out that some of them who eargerly said that they're coming won't be joining us for a few reasons. Fauziah n the gang are already there but at different location. As for the rest, it's confirmed and we will b meeting at Harbourfront Mrt Station.

While waiting for the 'starz'

At the monorail station. Sentosa, here we come!!!

While waiting for the beauties to come out from the toilet.

Reached Sentosa and we did have loads of fun. Went swimming. Played games. Took a nap. And best of all, we bonded. Too bad the rest did not join us. But it will be even better if Deary can join us. Syahidah did ask me to ask him along, but Syahidah, I would love to but he's in camp. Too bad. But Deary, I behaved myself very well. Ask the rest if you don't believe me. But my eyes don't seem to listen to me... but I only see, but no touch.. haha!!!

The kids unleashed

The circle of frienship

Then the sizes started to shrink. A few of us planned to have dinner at Vivocity. And so we did. After that, we went to the playground and brought out the playfulness in us.... then headed to the upperdeck and talked till 10pm. We promised to meet up again... maybe next week...

To my class of JN0701A, I love u guys loads and these past one year is the greatest time I've had.... Thanks you so much.

Got back home and talked to Deary. Tommorrow is fasting month. And at this time one year ago, we talked on the phone for the first time all the way from 11pm to 8am.

Deary,

Still remember about the things we talked about. About how I shouted while frying the fish. I know I seemed so stupid. But you never cared. You love me for who I am... Last year, we celebrated ramadhan as friends in the beginning, and as lovers the last few weeks of Ramadhan. This year we celebrated it as Fiance n fiancee. Next year, InsyaAllah, we will welcome Ramadhan as Husband and wife.

Selamat menyambut Bulan Ramadhan Yang penuh Kemuliaan ini.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

The Darkest days....

2007-09-12T00:45:00.000+08:00

Today is the day that I will never forget and try not to remember. We are having our Clinical Nursing paper today. The exam is supposed to start at 8.30am and we must be seated by 8am. Well, I did set my alarm and as usual not once but 3 times. The first alarm went off, and I just switch it to snooze. Then, my hp rang, (why is it so bright)it was Deary. Oh God, it's 7.30am. SH*T. I'm fucking late. Got up, rushed to the toilet, took money from mummy, without make-up n my hair so messy, I went down to try to get a cab. Luckily at that point of time, a cab came by less than a minute of waiting.

The pakcik told me that every there's jam. So he suggested that we took alternative route. So we went from Dairy Farm to Seletar exiting at Jalan Kayu. Smooth traffic. Then.... it reached TPE and walla....!!!! The Jam was terrible. Looking at the time, I knew that I cannot get to school on time. I called Ms Rafika and informed her of my situation. She advised me to try my best and said that the invigilator, Mrs Tan will call me. I was praying really hard.

Then Mrs Tan said that she can give me up to 08.40am. It was 8.20am and I was hoping that I can make it. But hell no, the traffic seems to froze. At 8.40, smsed Mrs Tan and she told me that the latest is 9am. Finally, reached school at 9sharp.

Opened the door and 240 pairs of eyes looked at me. Oh God.... I was trembling and felt like crying. Only God knows my feelings at that point of time. Went to my seat and sat down still trembling. Mrs Tan asked me to relax. Got my question paper and thank God I managed to complete the paper just in the nick of time. Never in my life I was late for an important exam.
Finally, it's over.... Hooorrraayyyy!!!!! no more paper for the next 3 mths.
Went for our CP briefing. No changes were made in our group. Hoping that the bit*h will not be together with me, but... never mind, I know what to do.

Tommorrow, we will be going to Sentosa for our class outing...
Met Putri at Bukit Batok and we hung around till evening. Nice hanging out with you Put.

As for my Deary,
After having a fucking day, how I wished I can be in your arms seeking solace from this cruel world. Everywhere I go, u seems to be constantly on my mind... My life felt so empty without u by my side. I know I'm too dependent on you. But, I can't help it sayang.

During my time with Putri, we did change smses:

Deary: Hey sayang, u kat mana?
Me: I'm at Bukit Timah with Putri. Maybe heading to Westmall later.
Deary: B, hari ni budak recruit baru masuk. Kesian tengok dorang. Apa mau NS?
Me: U jangan eksen lah. U pun dulu NS perr dengan rambut kojek.
Deary: Itu sebablah, terkenang semasa dulu.
Me: U tak kenal sesiapa ke?
Deary: Tadi tengok2 jugak. So far takder.
Me: (dah start merepek) Boyfren I pun masuk NS hari ni. U try lah tengok2 kan dia ehk.
Deary: Sape?
Me: Nama dia Indra Wira Agustus (dari mana aku dapat nama ni pun tak tahu)
Deary: Eh! Itu my fren.. (boleh layan pulak si mamat ni)
Me: Ehk? Abih tadi u tak nampak dia?
Deary: Dah meninggal ah.... Tadi kena petir.
Me: Ye ke? Dia tak bilang I pun dia dah meninggal. Apa punya Boyfren dah. Suar betul. (part ni, dah senyum sorang2)
Deary: Mungkin takde reception kat dalam kubur, u tunggu ah jap lagik die kat alam barzakh nanti dia kol u. (boleh tahan jugak tunang aku ehk)
Me: Hmm... mungkin dia email ah... lagipun hp dia ada 3G.
Deary: Baguslah tu... sabar menunggu k...

hahahahahaha.... Ini lah kegilaan kita.... LOVE U BABY.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

One paper done... left another one to go

2007-09-10T19:54:00.000+08:00

Today is our BH paper. N guess what?!!! I never studied at all. Yesterday, I was at Deary's place the whole day. He needs my help in doing his project. So I was busy the whole day completing the presentation for him and managed to complete it just on time. B, u must take the responsibilities ehk.. pemalas nak buat project sendiri kan...

Today, at 5am, I had a very terrible stomach pain. Don't know why. Took painkillers and managed to go back to sleep. On the way to school, in the train, I was busy studying. Last minute as usual. Hmmm... oklah, at least some of the things managed to be stored in my brain. Reached school and proceed to the exam hall. Suddenly, something cold ran down my spine.... I'm scared....

Got the papers, answered most of it with crap... hahaha!! Actually, the paper quite oklah. Half of what I studied in the train just now came out. Lucky spot. Finished the paper, handed in n out of the exam hall. Phew!!! What a relieve... satu balak dah lepas...

After that, we decided to go Eastpoint to have our lunch at KFC...... then.... we took these pictures....

We are admiring Sabri...
Suddenly, he's gone into the picture

We kept looking for ways to bring him out

In the end we gave up....

On the way home, I went to the Town Council to appeal for Deary's summon. He got a summon for parking his bike at my void deck. Then headed home. Talked to Niza, Priya, Maria n Syahidah about our class outing this Wednesday. They planned to go to Sentosa. I suggested ECP, but after listening to Niza's explanation, yah, ECP kinda boring... I decided to go along with Niza's plan... can't wait for tommorrow's paper to be over.

If only deary can join us... he sure gonna enjoy himself especially with my classmates' craziness.. but it's ok... leh cuci mata... hahaha!!!! Sorry eh Sayang... It's just look but no touch.... I promise.....

CN paper tommorrow, after that Hooray....

Fasting mth is just a few days away. And the first day of fast, I won't be able to be with Deary.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Salam Lebaran Recording

2007-09-08T23:19:00.000+08:00

The evening before, after meeting Deary, we went to BoonLay for his meeting. Then as usual we headed to MakanShiok. We stayed with the rest till 2am n came back to my house. Initially, Deary's plan was to just hang around til 4am, but his eyes gave way. So he said that he wanted to catch a few winks and ask me to wake him up at 6am. But at 6am, it was raining at Deary continued to loiter in his dreamland. Deary's mum called cos we did planned to go to Pameran Pengantin with her.

We then went to Singapore Expo. After bowsing through, we found out that the wedding date that we want is near to fully booked. We decided not to play with fire and changed the date. Managed to get many brochures and namecards.

Took the bus to Deary's home and started to prepare ourselve for Salam Lebaran's Recording. We reached Caldecott at 8.15pm. Just on time for the show.

Us watching the show
Deary , me and Fiza(Deary's sis) Some of us

The show was hilarious. Aaron Aziz was perfect in his role playing. And best of all, Taufik Batisah also performed. Whoa!!!! Overall rating, excellent.... Can't wait to catch the show on Suria during the eve of Syawal.
Don't miss it guys...

Just US

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

It's been 2mths now...

2007-09-07T17:51:00.000+08:00

I'm missing my Deary damn pretty much. Is this feeling normal....?

Pink is my favourite colour
My sis 2mths engagement

Time does really flies. Good things have been happening in my family. First, my mum saw the positive changes in me. Then came the positive changes in the relationship of my siblings n myself. Well, we used to kill each other often... very often... but now, we seems to communicate better. Then, in July, my youngest sis got engaged. Barely a mth later, I got engaged. My mum said that I got the 'berkat' from my sis. So superstitious. But good things are supposed to be shared mah... So there you go, it's been all the good news all along. Really hope that this will stay. But we tend to forget ourselves when too much good things happened and forgotten to prepare ourselves for the bad things that may happened. This is human nature. All I can do is pray to GOD Almighty to protect my family and loved ones from harm and evil.

My Deary will be coming home today... OOOhhhhh! So excited. He told me to be prepared to see his colour changes. But do I care? Hell no. He will still be my handsome n cute Halus Boy. Yesterday at night, we did talked way past midnight. Iniatially he was hanging at the verandah with his team members. Really can hear them laughing and they seems to be enjoyings themselves. Deary did tell me about the few scandals that were happening in his team. Being human, we are never shy from the scandalous world but then again, I'm kinda worried about my baby. Will he be safe from this scandals? Will he be able to protect himself? Only he can do it. I can only pray for the best.

To my Deary:

B, I trusted you so much. Never once did I imagine that you will hurt me. Not now, not ever. I know that we humans always lose to Satans wishes. But again, we also have the power to fight evil. B, I'm always worried about you. I don't know why. Please allay my fears sayang. Don't even think of doing anything to hurt me. I know you won't... but sometimes.... aarrggghhhh!!!! Sayang, there's one thing that I always kept in mind. Whenever I saw sumone that may send shockwaves in my blood, or doing something without your knowledge, I always remind myself: What if he do this? How would I feel? How would I take it? These few questions actually helped me overcome the thoughts of doing something negative. B, I assure you that I will take good care of myself in the event that you are away. I will never hurt you in any form. That is my promises to a better future. I love you too much sayang....

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Happy 11th mthsary sayang

2007-09-06T15:58:00.000+08:00

Yup, today is our 11th mth sary....

Lot's of thing happened the past 11 mth of our relationships. We've been through the ups n downs... the sadness n happiness... basically almost everything that life promises...
Nevertheless, we or to be exact, me, never once complained. Like any other relationships, we had our quarrels, disagreement about petty things, tears, scoldings and many more... but each time our relationships became closer... after each bad episode, we learnt new things about each other. Unpleasant words were exchange, regrets were inevitable, but again, after that, we seem to have an extra point learnt fom the other partner. These are the sweet n sour taste in a relationship. There's this saying that says, ' A relationship without quarrels and unhappiness incident is like an ice kachang without the sweet taste'. It's true isn't it... try eating an ice kachang but it tasted so sour, something must be wrong right? there you go... got my point?

My life before My Deary came into was hell... met a few jerks who terrorised my life.... If i can recall, there's this idiot, well, I met him last year in one of my Clinical attachment at NUH. He was the guy who sent food trolleys to the ward. The initial part of our relationship was ok until his ex gerl came back into his life.... then it's disaster.... we only lasted 2 mths....
The latest before my Sayang was a guy name 'Batu'.... why that name? Well, he got a masculine body. And he got his name from the prisoners, yup, he's an ex con.... yalah, supporting Yellow Ribbon mah.... He was the type of person that can do everything, clubbing, hanging out with his friends, overnighting..... but I can't. His reasons: "u r a gerl". Duh!!!! But sayang punya pasal, I listened to him. Till one day, came a point when I wanted to surprised him on our anniversary and he was at a club. The moment he saw me, he was really mad. He started shouted and throws vulgarities at me. Cut it short, he beat me up at the carpark infront of Wheelock. I fainted and he walked away. A bunch of guys came to my rescue. (they are now my best bros) Since then, I became bolder and stop being submissive. He came to me crying, pleading and whatnots each time we quarrelled. I also went out as n when I like with whoever that I want. That's me, I can be nice when u r nice to me, but when u turn ugly towards me, that's when hell knew no fury.
I was still playing around with him n his feelings as I still wanted revenge till I met My Halus Boy... He was the one who gave me courage to let go of my past and start anew. He saved me.... And that jerk now is in jail doing his long sentence for drugs.

And me, happily with my Halus Boy.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

I'm sick again

2007-09-05T19:11:00.000+08:00

Woke up late today. Feeling like sh*t. Checked my temperature, it was kinda high and my whole body is aching. My head felt like bursting. Went back to sleep.
How I wish at this point of time, my Deary is beside me. Curing me with his touch. dREAM ON jAMIE

At 10am, my hp rang.... it says... HALUS DEARY.... yeay!!!!!
Quickly answered the call and suddenly all my pain is gone... It's a miracle... MIRACLE of LOVE....

Deary told me about his terrible night. They were caught unprepared for the expedition. He never bring any extra clothing. They were in the water most of the time. Got to an island and when they just settled down, they were told to leave everything and move to another location. There, they were give 4 barrels n poles to make a boat. That's the boat that's gonna be their transportation to the next island. They were half submerged in the water n struggling to go against the currents most of the time.
Hearing his story, I felt really helpless. He must really be feeling tired and worn out. B, only God knows what I'm feeling right now.
Ask him to get some sleep and rest. At least terubat rindu sikit. We meet in our dreams k sayang.

Continue sleeping til 2pm. Went to polyclinic and got 2 days of MC.

Deary called me again and told me today they have a night walk... Lagik.... Really felt like killing those heartless intructors.... how dare they made my Deary's life hell....

Takpe k sayang, nanti Friday, bila you balik ke pangkuan I, I'll give you Heaven k..... :)
Tommorrow is our 11th mth anniversary.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

What a Day

2007-09-04T23:38:00.000+08:00

Nothing interesting happened in school today.....
Ms Rafika was not around. We basically did nothing but revision. Actually, we behaved ourselves kinda pretty well. Got back our test papers. Yup, I passed. Never expected to pass. Got B. Both my test, CN n BH, I got good marks. Goodjob Jamie... keep it up. In fact my class did perfectly well. Kudos to my classmate. You all deserve a pat on the back. To the gerl who didn't for BH, dun worry, just try your best for the exam I will pray for you. But again, the credit should go to Ms Rafika... She's the best teacher. So sad that she won't be teaching us anymore.

In class I was feeling so tired. Don't really know why. I'm shacked. I'm running a temperature and I felt like I'm falling really sick. And to make matters worst, Deary had not reply my smses. Usually, no matter how busy he is, he will surely sms me the first thing in the morning. That's a must. But today....
Then out of the blue, Deary sms me at 12.27 pm
Deary: B, I'm going for expedition... will only be back tommorrow...
Me: Can you call me now? (called him but he never answered)
Deary: I'm the In Charge.... got no time....
Me: So that means you won't be calling me till tommorow?
NO REPLY

Alamak..... haiz.... that point onwards, suddenly my mood reached zero. But given me, I still maintained even though I felt like shouting.... went back home, did my stuff, ate my medicine... then took a nap.... woke up, watched tv... aaarrrggghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so damn bored.
Found out from apit that night expedition is really tiring. The instructor really torture them.... That made me really worried... kesian my sayang. I prayed so much for my baby to be safe....

Ya Allah, lindungilah Ilyas... jauhilah Ilyas dari segala mala petaka. Amin...

Fell asleep missing my deary. The first time In our relationship that I never hear his voice for one whole day....

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Monday Blues

2007-09-03T23:16:00.000+08:00

The peeps I love

AARrrrrrgghhhh!!!!!
It's Monday......
Deary is having his Outward Bound Camp this week. Really worried about his safety.

Well, school was as usual... nothing unusual. Ms Rafika came today. The reason she's not in class for the last few days was because, her mum had a fall and broke her leg, so Ms Rafika had to take care of her. And she won't be in for the next few days too.... This week is revision week... so not so bad lah...

We had a lecture by a Multi vitamins company and got free vitamins. After that, Aisyah, Sabri, Bedah n me went to Simei and lepaks til 6pm. Talked so much.... Thanks guys... so happy talking to you. Also saw Dino. Talked to him for a while and he said I looked much happier now. Well, he saw my downs before Ilyas came into my life.... really bad back then.

Got home, did some revision. Waited for Deary to call...
Deary called and I was kinda shock to hear female voices in the background after knowing that he was in his bunk... wat the hell is the girls doing in the Guy's bunk? From what Deary told me, in fact there's no privacy at all. They are sharing the same room but only separated by partition... What the FCUK..... Actually kan, yalah, I'm jealous... *blush* but I trust my Deary.

Pity my Baby, he sounds so tired. He said he was shacked cos they actually went kayaking around the island in the rain. How I wish I can give you a massage sayang... hutang k.... We cut short the conversation cos he said he want to go to bed early... ok then sayang.. rest well... love you so much...

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Another Sunday

2007-09-02T23:59:00.000+08:00

Father n Son bond

Sunday....

Just don't like Sundays cos tommorrow is Monday... well, Mondays are meant to be boring and Monday is the day when Deary have to go back to camp....

Nothing much happen today.... Deary had to go to the Yellow Ribbon Walk at Pasir Ris. We then went to his ex-schoolmate's wedding at Jurong. Can really see the tireness in Deary's eyes. After that, we just hang around before he went home.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

PSTS Open Hse

2007-09-01T22:53:00.000+08:00

The Capten of My Life

Corporal Ilyas

HTA organise an open house for their PSTS (Prison Staff Training School) today. The open house was meant for us to see how our love ones will be undergoing their training for the next 5 mths. From my personal opinion, this is a good idea. Knowing what our love ones are going through will at least keep our minds at ease.

My future Parent In Laws

We should be there by 9am. Deary's parent fetched me and we are well on our way to HTA. Upon reaching there, at the entrance, Deary's mum mentioned that she saw Deary, but his Dad n myself were wondering where the hell is he. He was actually right infront but he seems so small in his uniform. HAhaha!!! that's my Halus Boy. He came into the car and lead us to the carpark. B, I really want to hug you tightly, but as usual, have to be mindful about our surrounding.

We went to the amphiteatre and there, his officer gave a short speech. The collage that both of us put together was also shown together with the rest. Then we proceeded to a mock cell where they will undergo on the ground training. Really stuffy down there. I wonder how those prisoner can tolerate those four walls. Seriously, if it was me, I'll go crazy. We then went to his bunk. Well, he got a comfy bed and environment. The only one lacking is ME!
While waiting for him to change into his book out attire, we waited in the amphiteatre. There, a video about Mother's Day celebration between Inmates and their kids was shown. Really touching. I cried. Don't want to elaborate much cause it was supposed to be confidential. But that particular video really made me appreciate my kids.

Finally, Deary booked out. We then went to JB. After that to Deary's house. He changed and we went our way. This gave us all the opportunity that we have been waiting for the past one week. Betul nye lepas rindu.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Presentation Is done

2007-08-30T23:01:00.000+08:00

Asraf, Fauziah n myself during CMS

Been very busy these few days. With our BH test yesterday, our PBL project and many more things on hand.
Yesterday's test was disastrous. Everything that I learned went blank when taking the paper. Sure fail this time round. Haiz... and exams are coming real soon. A week more to go. And then holidays. After that, attachment. Actually, I have second thoughts about attachment. Just hate that B*tch in my CP group. Really wish that I can just stay in school. But, it's not up to us to decide.
Well, today during our CN, we had to present our project. Ms Rafika never came today due to some personal reasons. Mdm Suppaiah came in and took over. She was in a very good mood today. Thanks goodness. After an hr, she's gone and Mrs Tan took over. Then it's our turn to present. I did most of the presentation. She asked many question and then it was over.

Friday, we are supposed to hand in our portfolio. Everything is planned nicely, only some finishing touches. Our shoulder was much lighter after the burdens was laid off.
Went for CMS. Then had SnW after that. My first time taking part in SnW after mths in school. Played floorball and my team won 4-3. Haha!!! Really had fun...

This Saturday, HTA is having an open house for Prison Staff undergoing training. I will be going with Deary's parents.

Deary,
This week is really a stressed one. Really wish that you are here. At least not so bad.
But then again, talking to you made me feel better. You are really my confidante. Thanks sayang. Just counting down the days. 2 weeks has passed. This training will be over soon and everything will change for the better. Love n miss you u much.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Pool Day

2007-08-26T00:49:00.000+08:00

My Beloved Mum My Dad in action

Sweet Children of Mine

Kinda a boring day today... did nothing but lazying around at home. Woke up around 3 pm... Called my Deary and he also just woke up... HAhaha... bayar hutang nampak...

Planned to meet Deary before he headed back to camp... expected it to be around 7.30. But he only met me at 8.30pm. The reason for the meeting: to take the PSP from me... Haizz... Really thought of spending some time with him... but what to do.. orang tak sudi... he looked really cute in his uniform...

At 10pm, my family decided to play pool at Bukit Timah. Yup, my whole family.... we enjoyed ourselves very much.... It's the first time that we went to play pool as a family... best kan... Family Bonding time....
After that, we had our heavy supper at Al Ameen... Full siak... Got home at 12+... went to bed straightaway....

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

2007-08-25T23:32:00.000+08:00

Met my Deary yesterday... finally. Well, I planned to fetch him... while waiting for the cab which took forever, somehow my flat's rubbish chute caught fire. Called 995. Finally managed to get a cab.. phew! At last.
The moment I saw my Deary, I really felt like hugging him really tightly... but I can't do that as the cab driver is a Malay... respect mah...

Went to his house, then we proceeded somewhere... cannot tell where.... hehehe!!! My secret... Really enjoyed the quality time with him... Thanks baby for making me the first person you wanted to meet.
Today, we went to Beach Rd, got some stuff for Deary's Outward Bound Camp. Then we headed to his house. Spent the rest of the evening finishing his project. Finally it's done. Really satisfied. I'm beginning to fall in love with his family especially his mom....

Went back home near to midnight.... what a day... although we never did anything, but just spending it with my baby is enough....

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

For you Deary

2007-08-24T14:51:00.000+08:00

Deary,
While writing this blog, I'm counting down to meet my deary.
Really so excited to see him.
Missing him like hell.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Miss you lots Reshem

2007-08-23T23:13:00.000+08:00

Reshem, our ex classmate came to Simei ITE to meet us. Really miss her lots. The last time I saw her was somewhere in early March this year. She never puts on weight but certain part of her actually builts up..hahaha.... She told us that life in Poly sucks. How she wished she is back with us. She also told us about her 'Hotstuff' Andy, and how she drools over him.... hehehe

Had spaghetti during lunch. Cannot finish...as usual lah... after that we went straight to CMS... Had fun doing our own stuff, like always. Headed for SnW. Syafika's hp went inside the toilet bowl. Why do you put inside the toilet bowl gerl...? Hahaha... Just yesterday, she said that she's thinking of getting a new hp, today the hp landed inside the toilet bowl. tulah, kan hp dah merajuk. Takper Fika, suruk Rafi belikan yg baru...hehehe!

Played capten's ball with the rest. Fun seh. It's been a long time since I played games n I really enjoyed myself and I thanked Priya for attacking me. I perspire like hell... Smells like shit. Tired seh but worth it.

Tommorow is Friday and I can meet my baby Deary. Yippee!!!!!!!!!! Really excited about it. Can't wait. Especially when it's raining and it is now, I'm missing him terribly. Sayang, no matter whom I spoke to about my problems, talking to you is still the best cause nobody understands me like you do. Even when I tried to hide my worries, fears n tears from u, u always managed to find out. How did you do that sayang? You always listens to me patiently except for the times when you are playing with your PSP lah. You never once told me that I am noisy and asked me to shut up( dunno if you said that ot your heart lah). Thank you so much my ILYAS.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Flying Handphone

2007-08-22T19:40:00.000+08:00

What the hell is Zubaidah doing?

Told you we are crazy....

As usual, went to school. Saw someone that I dun want to see in the train. Tried very hard to avoid her. It's not that I hate her or whatever... but.... Planning to meet Maria at Tanah Merah but actually, we are in the same train all the time... duh!

Went for lunch in cafe 1. The funniest thing happened. I received an sms from Deary, n feeling so excited I quickly dialled his number. In the split second, I place the phone at my ears n suddenly the phone just fly backwards. It hit a YR 2 Nursing student right at her face and fell to the floor. OUCH! OMG, what have I done. I said sorry n quickly picked up my handphone while Atikah, Chantal n Charlyn laugh out loud. Can't help but join in tha laughter... Hahahaa... I made a fool out of myself. Luckily I'm not alone, if not paiseh siak....

Told Deary about it and he too laughed at me.... haiyoh. Really nice to hear his voice. And I knew that he was really happy to hear me laughing.

Went to SIM training and today's topic is collecting specimen. Fauziah really fumbled and I kept disturbing Ms Rafika. Well, Fauziah was Miss Rafika's student in CP. So, haiz, those who knew me will surely know what I will say. Sori Fauziah n Miss Rafika. Then after that I went to WE CARE for counselling. The counsellor said I looked so chirpy, much better than last week. Hahaha... mestilah.... after that went to CMS class. Played a game of truth or dare. Chantal really bad. She kept disturbing Naziema but Haizal was worst. He said something to Naziemah n she nearly cried. She must be really offended. We all asked both Chantal n Haizal to stop. Had so much fun in CMS today. Love my classmates so much. After that we all headed home. On the way home, me n my crazy brains took photos together.

Really so happy to be with these bunch of peeps. Thanks guys for making me feel so loved.

To Deary,
Being away from you had taught me the true meaning of sacrifices.

Our love is getting stronger n stronger by the minute.

I know that 5mths will pass very fast. I'm just praying that it will be faster.

B, Listening to your voice every night lulls me to sleep.

It's really nice to know that someone is missing me terribly too.

Knowing that I'm so special in your heart keeps my pace strong and I promise never to stop walking.

You are everything to me n losing you is unimaginable.

Love you so much baby.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Really miss those times....

2007-08-21T17:42:00.000+08:00

Tuesday... kinda love this day... school starts late and ends early.
Went home straight... nowhere to go. That will be a routine for me for the next 5 mths.

Nothing much in school today. There was a fire drill. Had to gather at the field. It's so Fu*king hot. What do you expect when it's 11am. Stayed at the field for about 15 mins. Stayed under Pamela's umbrella all the way. Who wants to risk being dark...I'm already dark.
Actually, looking at Titi n Nurul, I really miss those times when we were together. But what can I do. Between us, there's nothing, but because of that someone, I had to keep away from them. But to my gerls (Titi n Nurul)< even after what happened, I still luv u gerls.

It's been 2 days since Deary started training. Going through these 2 days was like 20 days of my life. I'm really missing Deary. Basically everything that I do, it reminded me of Deary. Like when I'm eating chocolate prata just now, Deary's face popped up infront of my eyes. Just can't forget the history behind the prata. Then in class, I slept for a while, but in just that few mins, I dreamt of Deary. I really felt terrible without him by my side.

We did exchange a few smses just now:
Deary: Hi syg, I just finish lunch, u dah makan?
Me: Dah. I makan prata chocolate. And it reminds me of you. What did u have? B, didn't you feel anything?
Deary: I had western, actually I did after looking at our photos.
Me: B...help...I'm missing you terribly.
Deary: Sayang takmu mcm ginilah, nanti I AWOL baru tahu. Lepas tu I rompak bank untuk bayar bond.
Me: Macam gitu buat apa... lepas tu u kena tangkap masuk dalam balik... sama jer.

Hahaha.... I behaved so childish. But what I do know, there's sure a smile on Deary's lips after reading those smses cos it did put a smile on mine.
Really looking forward to Friday.

For Deary, Missing you terribly sayang.

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

At last everything Is fine... Alhamdulillah

2007-08-19T23:47:00.000+08:00

Hey there peeps...
Alhamdulillah... my engagement is a success. Everything goes on very well.

Met Titi, Munzir n Nurul at Westmall around 12.30pm to buy some stuff. Bought cake and fruits for the gubahan. I was really tired, hungry, nervous and excited.
Menu for today, roti kirai, Curry chicken and mee goreng, but that will b for dinner.
At 2 pm, got ready and my sis did the make-up for me. And Deary wanted me to wear the tudung. hahaha... I looked different right.

Deary and his family are ready and just waiting for me to give them go ahead. Finally, they reached my house at 3.30pm. Deary's Mak Ngah put in the ring for me. I'm officially Ilyas' Fiancee.

My Family n Us

Again, I thanked God for introducing Ilyas into my life. It's the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Our Family

Tomorrow, Deary going for the training camp.
I got Clinical Nursing test.

Haiz....

Haven't study yet.

To Deary, good luck in your training, and happy missing me... hahahhaa... really can't wait for Friday.

To my dearest friends, Siti Nuridahwati n Nurul, thanks for being there for me on my special day. Really appreciate you gerls.
To my well wishers, thanks and just DOA(pray) for me yah.

*yawn....

Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

1 more day to go

2007-08-18T11:53:00.000+08:00

Why never smile?

He's concentrating at the athlete on the track

HAhaha..... what happen ehk today?
Hmmm... well....

Went back to school but not because of any extra lessons on whatever.... but Deary had a sports thingy going on... it's the Singapore Prison Athletic meet.... aka PSRC athletic meet.
Actually kan, I really washed my eyes and it's really clean. The hunks were like everywhere.. Those with 6 pack abdomen, muscles...muscles...muscles..everywhere...wahlao....cannot tahan... There's also an inter services friendly relay race between CNB, SCDF etc... and our very own athletes from ITE Simei. And guess who came in first.... ITE Simei of course... congrats to you guys from the ITE Simei Athletic Men's Team.
Managed to go Tampines Giant to get stuff for the gubahan.
Then went to Kak Noor's place to celebrate Khairun's 21st B'day. Happy Belated b'day Gerl...
It's really difficult to get my mum to go home... Had to remind her again n again that I have stuff to do. Finally, we managed to reach home at 11.30pm. Adoi! Just can't decide how to do my gubahan.... headache siak....

And to my fellow classmates whose been there for me in these difficult times, u know who you are... thank you so much.

Just a few werds for you peeps... sorry, it's in malay...

Biar tiada rupa atau harta,
asalkan ada kesederan diri yang tak sempurna...
Biar kita dibenci dari kita membenci....
Kita adalah apa yang kita pamerkan,
bukan siapa kita disebaliknya...
Biar kita di umpat dikeji,
Asal bukan kita yg mengeji...
Biar orang tidak menghargai budi yg diberi,
Asal jgn jadi orang tak tahu menghargai....

Renungkan bersama k...
Oklah, got to sleep... tomorrow is my big day...
Bubbye....!!!!

1 more day for deary's training.
Sit(I)lyas Forever
Staying strong since 06.10.06

Had a very fun day

2007-08-17T01:56:00.000+08:00

Them with one of the teacher...

Me in the toilet after the game

Not much happening in school today.....

But really had so much fun during our Treasure Hunt thingy.... It's like Amazing race.... there's a clue, go to the pit stop, di what they ask u to, then get a chop.... complete all 9 in the shortest time, u win.... Sabri, Pamela, Aisha, Zubaidah n I actually finished first but due to an error in our chops collected, finally we came in fourth. The prize: $100 voucher... Jadilah... Tommorow can go shopping.

Deary fetch me n we headed to JB. Then we went to Mustaffa to shop for his camping stuff.... Luckily Deary's sister, Fizah, contribute 2 'gubahan'. If not, we have to shop for those things too.... the closer it gets to my big day, the more nervous I am... After that, as usual on Friday, Deary will meet his bros at Makan Shiok. Left at around 1.30am. After Deary sent me home, he followed the rest to Yishun Damp... I dun know what's so great about that place...

Mata pun dah layu...

To my Halus Boy,
Really treasure the time we had just now.
It's been a while since we had those moments.
You going into training is actually good for us and our realationship.
It's actually a test for our love.
Being away from you makes my heart grow fonder...
And the urge to be with you is stronger.
Love you sayang.
Nothing in this world can separates us accept Allah.

1 more day to our engagement
2 more days to Deary in camp training.
Sit(I)lyas Forever

Last minute as usual

2007-08-16T00:33:00.000+08:00

Atika, Me n Shikin....

We look like sisters right?

What a fuc*ing day today....
We had to do a project for CMS. Actually, we got this assignment way back but chose to do it last minute...hahaha...as usual...

Yesterday I promised Titi, Nurul n Khairul to bring my lappy today so that we can finish our project. Our plan was to come early today as school starts late and try to finish our project.
During lunch break, we decided to do our project but Hell, my lappy has no POWERPOINT.... FCUK.... Went to CVC, no luck. Finally during CMS, we went to MLT and yup, finally.... I did some research on a few places... got the info... pass to Titi to put together all the facts collected by Titi n Nurul plus mine.... finally WALLA!!! It's done....
Back at CMS class, we presented our project and got an A-. What the hell was that? Mr Yap said, I saved the day with the projection of my voice and he gave us that mark.... ahaha... my voice ehk? Talked to Atika... Really a nice person to talk to... took some pictures together.

Deary had a team bonding thingy at Singapore Zoo. Best kan. Wanted to meet him but he said he was tired, so we decided to meet tomorrow. We have yet to buy the stuff for the engagement and his training camp. Haiz...
Becoming more sensitive nowadays. Dun know why. But deary also noticed it. Haiyoh, maybe due to the problems, anxiety, excitement n dun know what....
Got home from school, ate my medicine and went to sleep. All the way till 11.30... Waduh....
Missing my Halus Boy so much.... especially when I'm sick....

My pillow is calling me. Tomorrow got treasure hunt.

3 more days to go for our special day.
4 more days to go to Deary's training.
Sit(I)lyas Forever

New Handphone for me

2007-08-14T00:49:00.000+08:00

At school today, I missed BH due to some stuff that I had to attend to. Managed to get to school just on time for CN by cab.

In school, Nurul was a bit angry with me but managed to talk things out. Sorry ehk Nurul.... By right, class should have ended by 2pm... but due to our missing practical n theory lessons due to holidays... we have to do make up class. Ended at 4pm. Waited for deary to fetch me.
While waiting for him, I had a very intimate conversation with Atiqah. Really nice talking to her. Deary called and said that he was stuck in the rain somewhere in Sengkang.

Atikah had to go and I was left alone to wait for deary. At last he arrived at 5pm.
Was really sleepy on the way home. There's a few occasion that I actually dozed off... Deary had to tap me..hehe...

Got home and took a quick nap. After feeling refreshed, we went to Boon Lay to buy a handphone for me. Iniatially planned to buy it next month, but cannot wait lah.... I bught a new phone without line. Samsung. Actually kinda look similar to the phone which was stolen back in March... anyway, still prefer my old Samsung... Anyway... thanks sayang for the handphone... anything from you, I will treasure....

Klah...really tired and yawning away... gdnight...

4 days to go for my special day...
5 days before Deary attend training
**~Sit(I)lyas Forever~**

Deary got himself a PSP

2007-08-13T02:20:00.000+08:00

School was boring today... as usual, Monday Blues...
Really sleepy cos yesterday night could't get to sleep... excited maybe....

Halus Boy fetch me from school. Headed to Bukit Merah to settle the bike instalment. Met Ira n boifey. Then we decided to waste time by window shopping. Went around Queensway Shopping Centre. Saw a few wonderful things but didn't think of buying. Waste of money lah. Suddenly, out of nowhere, we both decided to buy PSP. Well, deary really wanted it especially since he's going for the training soon. Been eyeing for that thingy for quite some time. We surveyed 2 shops but then decided to try to get a better deal at Boon Lay Shopping Centre. Went all the way there, browse through every shop, but not for PSP, our attention turned to Hp. Thinking of buying a new Hp for myself.

Somehow, felt like it's not important afterall. My Hp is still in good condition. Then our attention switched back to PSP. Of all the shops over there.... only one shop sells PSP. But the price was beyond words... cekik darah. Decided to go back to Queensway...
Betul nye waste petrol... HAahhaa... but Deary don't mind at all and seeing the excitement n enthusiastic he potrayed, I decided to go along.

The shop that we went to just now was closed for the day. The dissappointment in Deary's eyes was painful for me. Haiz, I'm sorry sayang for wasting my time looking at handphones. Well, Lady luck was sure on his side. We saw another shop that not only had a lower price but a better deal as well. Finally, topping up a bit, my Deary owned his very own PSP.

He was so happy. But he also promised me that he will get me a new Hp next month. Awww... so sweeeettt. A promise is a promise yah.

He was so engrossed in his PSP that he never even bother to shower when he got home. After getting scolded by me, he finally relented. He promised to call me back, but till now, no news from him... Don't know whether he's asleep or busy with his new darling.
But Sayang, it's enough for me to see that happiness in you. Love you Halus Boy.

Now I'm counting down to 19th August
n 20th August.....

Sit(I)lyas Forever

FINALLY, THE DATE IS SET

2007-08-12T02:01:00.000+08:00

Hey friends....

I'm sure you are all wondering what's the hoohah about the ring was about....

Well,
Deary's parents agreed to come to my house to ask my hand in marriage for their Son. The date is set on the 19.08.07. At last, I've been waiting for this moment as long as I can remember. Te engagement will be for one year and by God's Will, we will be planning to ring the wedding bells by August next year. Pray for us

A day later, my Halus Boy will be off to training. He's stepping into a totally new start of his life.

1. A future with me... the one n only woman he love, besides his mother of course.

2. A career that will brightened our future.

Sayang,
I will always pray for you.
The time when you are gonna be away from me,
rest assured that I will never betray your trust.
I will take really good care of myself like how you always wanted me to.
I will wait anxiously for the weekends...
the time that we will be spending our precious moments together.
I know that these are the sacrifices we have to make...
For a better future...
For us, Our Love n Our Family....
I will always love you Sayang....

Sit(I)lyas Forever

All the way to Larkin

2007-08-11T01:45:00.000+08:00

On the way to JB

The Coke family arranged for a short trip to Larkin, Johor. Deary insisted that I come along even though there's a feast at my house. Managed to slipped away. Hmm...at least I escaped from doing the chores..hehehe...

Met everyone at Boon Lay. There are about 12 bikes altogether. We departed at around 8.30 pm via the Second Link. The journey was quite far. Actually, it will be much neareer if we were to take the the Woodlands route, but we don't wanna risk getting stuck in the jam.

It's really fun travelling with all of them. Even though the destination was not that far. We are heading for Larkin. Halfway through the journey, somehow we were separated. We stopped at Danga Bay. We waited for nearly 30minutes. Finally the rest of the 4 bike that were 'missing' managed to 'find' us.

Last stop, Larkin restaurant. There, so called 'mat rempits' was everywhere. They raced, did stunts, like the road belongs to them. Kinda trilling though. Where is Singapore can you find all this? Not that I know of.

Got home at 4am. Really shacked seh.... and my pillow is calling me. Gdnight.

Sit(I)lyas Forever

Yay....at last my allowance is in

2007-08-10T18:56:00.000+08:00

Us at Goldheart

Me n my lovable Bro

Yahoo...at last... my allowance is in....
Really miss my Halus Boy....
About yesterday, yah, he talked to his parents about us. His parents agreed to come by my house to discuss marriage with my family... B, our dream is one step to reality sayang....

Deary finished work at 7pm. Waited for him at Causeway Point. We went to Goldheart to see the rings that both of us chose the other day. Selected my size n paid a downpayment deposit cause my size was not available and they have to customised it. OOOhhhhh... getting so excited.

Went to Boon Lay to meet his fellow Coke brothers... then we hang out at a Makan Shiok at Jurong West.... After that we went for a short ride.... My Halus Boy seems quite happy cause it's been sometime since he last went out riding with his bros. He miss this moment. His friends wanted to go to Yishun Damp but I don't allow him to go cos he had to work. He sure was unhappy. Got home n chatted with Halus Boy til 4 am about the unhappy thingy.....

Counting down to 2oth August
10 more days to go....

Sit(I)lyas Forever

Happy National Day

2007-08-09T18:41:00.000+08:00

Happy National Day everyone be it you are a singaporean or not.....

Celebrate the holiday at home. Not feeling well. My gastritis is giving me problems again n again... So just lazying around at home... makin pemalas aku ni....

Actually I'm very anxious waiting for deary's call. He's gonna give a the biggest news of the century. Remember the ring I mentioned abt the other day...? Well, he's gonna ask his family to set a date for our engagement.... hmm.... how's his parents's reaction ehk? Just hope for the best though....

The outcome.... I will inform u guys again....

That's all for today... tatatata

Happy Birthday My Dear Sabri

2007-08-08T01:48:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Sabri.... Sorry, I forgotten about it.....

Today I never attended school. Went to Syahid's school instead with Deary.... The celebration was quite ok.... Unlike my time 15 years back.....

Deray was not feeling well... Accompanied him to take MC. Managed to get 1 day. Then in the evening, followed Deary to his paternal uncle's house. It's his cousins' b'day. Kinda enjoyed myself. Met almost all his paternal family. Went home near to midnight.

Thanks B for making me feel so accepted.....
Counting down to 20th August...
11 more days to go....

Sit(I)lyas Forever

Looking out

2007-08-07T00:55:00.000+08:00

Such a boring day in school.....

Today, all three of us, Nurul, Nazura n myself went to school by ourselves.... Somehow our paths don't cross.....

Finished class at 1.30pm.... Went to Woodlands to meet my Halus boy. As Rushidiah lived here, I decided to take the bus with her... hahaha... we really had an excursion... alight at the wrong busstop , not once but twice, then decided to take the train to Tampines n then the bus straight to Woodlands....

Met my Halus Boy. Went to JB to feed Halus Boy's gerlfren (the other one). Then we went window shopping at Causeway Point. Had our dinner and also a Hep B injection for Deary. Halus Boy brought me into Lee Hwa Jewellery to choose an engagement ring... chose one. Really nice. Says a lot about myself. Next step is for Halus Boy to bring Mummy to get a second opinion.

Really can't wait. Getting excited already....

Headed home after that. We had a tiff that cause tears to flow freely for both of us. It's just something he said about my past that hurts me so much. Seeing my reaction, he knew that he made a big boo boo. He apologised thousands of times. But what's done cannot be undone. Am I too sensitive? But Baby, what's past is past. Don't ever bring up the past to question what I'm doing presently cause it won't look good for our future. Kesian dia.... as usual, it's just a tiff, we kissed n made up. I'm sorry sayang for being too sensitive....

Tomorrow basically all the schools in Singapore are going to celebrate our Nation's Independence. We have to wear a red,white or maroon top with black pants. I had none... haiz.... It seems like tomorrow is gonna be a public holiday for me. But thinking of going to Syahid's school to celebrate with them. See how lah. I know that Syahid really hope for me to be there. Like how we used to envy our friends whose parents attend every function in school....

My eyes getting heavier...
counting down to 20th August 07......
12 more days to go....

Gdnight everyone... Luv Ya....

Happy 10th month anniversary sayang

2007-08-06T04:46:00.000+08:00

Hey Sayang...

Hepi 10 mth Anniversary

Yup, today is our 1oth mth together.

Our journey of love was not all sweet though... there are tears, pains, sleepless nights....

But then again, it was never shy of happiness, laughters, tears of joy, craziness.....

My Halus boy really made me feel very special. No other guy had made me feel this way before. He is someone that I can share everything with.... With him, I can behave like a nine years old kid without him minding at all. We can talk about anything, man, gerls, sex, gossips, politics, school, work...... anything.... Never once did he make me feel unwanted. Each time I have a problem, he is the first person that I will call or run to. Upon hearing his voice or seeing his face, everything will feel alright.

We went to Lau Pa Sat to eat Satay n Ikan Pari (my favourite). At the stroke of 12... we kissed n wished each other.... we then watched Disturbia at Cathay Cineleisure... That show was really good.... then we headed home cos he had to work later.... as for me, today is officially a public holiday for ITE College East.... hahaha... can sleep all I want.... plan to go out with Titi n Nurul, but no news from them....

To my Baby Boy....

Hey Sayang....

Hari ini genap sepuluh bulan kita bersama.

Menjalinkan pertalian kasih....

Mengait benang rindu....

Perhubungan kita ini tidak pernah lepas....

Dari cubaan dan dugaan yang mendatang...

Namun setiap kali itulah....

Bersama kita menempuhinya.....

Membuatkan cinta kita ini...

Semakin teguh dan mendalam kini...

Diriku amat menyintai mu sayang...

Tiada kuasa di dunia yang mampu memisahkan kita..

Melainkan Allah yang Maha Berkuasa....

Semoga mahligai impian yang kita dambakan....

Akan menjadi kenyataan dan milik kita nan abadi....

Insya Allah

Amin

Our Night Safari outing

2007-08-05T02:06:00.000+08:00

My three heroes

Phew.... really tired today...

My Halus Boy got free tickets from his civil servants perks for staff to Night Safari....

First time for all of us.....

Halus boy was suppose to meet us at my house around 5pm...after he reached home from work and took a nap. As usual I had to wake him up. Woke him up at 4pm and he said ok, he will get ready.... Waited for 2hrs but no sign of him. Called his hp umpteen times, no answer. He really got me worried. Finally, called his home n his sister Fizah said that he was still sleeping... Oh boy!!! Was I furious.... Asked his sis to wake him up... At last he reached my place at 6plus near 7..... rasa mcm nak cekik....

Reached there ard 7.30pm and to my surprise, the ticket price for Night Safari is $32 for adults n $16 for kids.... That's really expensive...lucky it's free for us. Had our dinner...

menu:

Beef Burger,

a basket of mcnuggets n fries,

a mug of coke

n spagheti.

Total price paid: $32.....

Watched the animal show... went around in the tram...not much to see. But it's ok...free what...why so much complain.

We are out from there at 11.30pm. Took a cab and head down to Al Ameen cos my family inclusive of my 2 aunties n their families were there. Just wanted to join in the fun, not hungry though... had an expensive dinner. Reached home at around 1am. Iniatially we wanted to watch movie but decided against it cos we are really tired especially my Halus Boy....

Going to bed... night night

A Family Of My Own

Menuju Kebahagiaan

2007-08-02T23:44:00.000+08:00

So to you my friends, the moral of the story, it's up to you to choose your own happiness..... You do have a choice... so do choose wisely yah.... All the best

No use trying to help a friend

2007-07-31T20:40:00.000+08:00

Finally I came to terms with the word 'Helpful' and 'Kepo'...

I promised myself not to be meddlesome in others business... why I said this was because of what happened next..

It all started because of yesterdays incident. We were all sitting at the bench located at level 1. Suddenly Haizal brought out the topic about yesterdays fight... what he said next really pierced through my ears like a sharp blade...
" Jamie, the problem between me (haizal) n him is settled... Now it's between u n him... I dun want to interfere... "
What the bloody hell he was talking about.... He was the cause of it n now he pushed everything to me n acted like he was not wrong at all...
" I already told you not to interfere what..."
What the FCUK Haizal...

There you go gerl.... been telling myself millions of times to mind your own business... see what I get now n how I land myself in this shit....
Well, lesson learnt once again in a painful way....

Today, I, Siti Jamilah promised myself that from now onwards, if any of my friends were to get into trouble or get beaten up infront of me, I should just stand at one corner and just see... after everything is over, then I render first aid... that way, I won't get into trouble or worst get injured for the sake of helping a friend... right?

And to that guy, if you happen to read this blog, just wanna let you know that between us, there's nothing... I accepted your explanation via sms n everything is fine... just one advice from me though, it's no use getting into a fight with a kid cos all the more it will bring you down to their level...no offence...

Luv ya all.....

The worst day of my school life

2007-07-30T23:20:00.000+08:00

Early in the morning, I got a scolding from Miss Rafika because of the phase test incident... somehow, my examiner complaint to her about my attitude... then.. the examiner herself came n again reprimanded me... both of them kept saying that I am a mature student n all the more I should show a good example...

Brought me down somehow but it's ok... Then we headed for BH class... In there, I viewed my friendster n the teacher next door saw me n Nurul on the friendster n again I was reprimanded.... haiyoh... what a day...

But the worst have yet to come....

Haizal, my classmate, actually have a problem with these group of boys from another class... He said that he was going to meet them to settle things once and for all after school... I tried talking him out of it but he wouldn't listen... so I just let it be...

During our lecture, a boy from that group walk up to Haizal n started talking to him in a rude manner... as his classmates, we all started looking at them... this, makes that boy unhappy...
Then I n the other girls decided to let Ms Rafika handle this problem not wanting them to get into trouble by taking things into their own hands...

After the lecture was over, we stayed back while the rest of the cohort dispersed... Haizal was inside the lecture theatre talking to Ms Rafika, n we were waiting outside for him when the other group of boys came down... One of them approached Haizal n started to pushed him... Me not wanting Haizal to get into a fight, pulled him away n pushed him into the hall to talk to Ms Rafika... somehow this offended that guy n he started hurling abuses at me... He said that a girl shouldn't interfere in man's problem n threatened to slapped me... First time he said that, I ignored him, but the second time, nah, it's just not me to remain quite... I shouted back n provoked him into showing his daredevil slap that he promised... My lecturers pulled me away....n i walked off....

Is it wrong for me as a sister to try to make things right....?
Is it wrong for me to stop them from getting themselves into trouble?
I have nothing to do with their problem but was implicated....
And to make things worst, the cause of their quarrel was so childish...

I demand an apology from that guy for outraging my modesty....
I had no intention whatsoever to bring him or anyone down...
But why must he show disrespect towards me as a lady?

So much for being helpful but was labelled as a busybosy....
Haiz... this is life....

In the end, the boys kissed n make up but here I am being the bad person once again....

A day at Wild Wild Wet

2007-07-29T22:23:00.000+08:00

Me, my Sayang n Fadhli

My Sayang managed to get 4 free tickets to Wild Wild Wet. Initially, we planned to go there as a whole family, but Hafiz was not feeling well n my Mum don't permit us to bring him. So with the extra ticket, we decided to ask Fadhli, Ilyas' long time friend since NS to join us. As it was free, he willingly agreed.. n so, my kid, Syahid, Ilyas, Fadhli n I head down to Downtown East.

This was not the first time for Syahid n me but it was for Ilyas n Fadhli. Luckily, the weather was just fine...not too hot n not raining either. Just nice so that my skin colour won't turn dark...hehe...

We enjoyed the Ularlah the most... I think we ride it for more than 10times. And the best part was that there was a candid photoshoot while we were in the float... nice right? All the pictures turn out good except for me... I looked like Sh*t.... in the picture lah...hahaha....

Fadhli purchased the picture for $12.90 which I don't find it appealing though, but he said it was for memory keepsake.... Had our dinner and took a cab home... damn we were really tired... but overall it was fun....

*YAWN*

Goodnight everyone...

Life is so unpredictable

2007-07-28T21:19:00.000+08:00

What can I say about today....

Started the day badly....
Woke up late. My sayang sent me to school. Instead of taking AYE, which is nearer obviously, he took the PIE... and I don't understand why he did that.. Along the way, there was a very bad jam. Haiz... if only you had taken the other way... but I don't dare to say it out loud. Dun wanna risk offending my Halus boy. As we tried to squeeze through the jam, we came across the cause of the jam that stretched from Clementi all the way to Stevens road.. i think... First we saw a motorcycle at the extreme right lane under the railings.... wondering what happened to the rider, about 20 metres down, we saw a body covered with a black plastic bag. His legs can be seen clearly....

At that very moment, I hug my Sayang really tightly. In my heart I was praying really hard.

Ya Allah...
Please keep my love ones safe...
Please don't let anything like this happen to them...
Please protect them Dear God....

Reached school 15 mins late. Signed the attendance form and sat waiting for my name to be called. As soon as it's my turn, I was really nervous. And to make matters worst, my so called 'favourite' lecturer was the one that's going to be my examiner. Upon seeing her, my confidence level reached zero. Did the procedure...answered some questions, was scolded for my long fingernails, flunked some questions, charted wrongly n finally I was out from there. Boy was I lucky that she never failed me.... But then again, I felt terrible... I could have done better.

Had breakfast in school and went home with my sayang... but the image of that body lying covered with the black plastic bag keeps haunting me... he can be someone's husband, father, son or boyfriend.... going out of his house as usual heading to work...the same road... the same timing...never expecting that his life would end so tragically....
Life is so unpredictable....

What I want

2007-07-27T15:47:00.001+08:00

Everything that is listed, my baby have it...

Thanks sayang... life is never better with you in it.

Love you so much.

Teacher kena buli

2007-07-27T15:34:00.000+08:00

If you peeps wanna know why I put that title, read on....
Today in school we started out quite late... 10am. After going for my practical, we have CMS... our module teaher is very 'selenge'.... the whole class tends to bully him. during his period, we will come with all sorts of finger foods, crackers, drinks..... and everytime kita kutuk dia, he will smile without understanding what we meant...sometimes kesian pulak.... but then the best thing abot CMS, we can just enter the class, mark attendance and keluar class....
We will be going ard the school, lepak at CVC and log on to the net.... best kan....
But actually, my classmates were the one that make school fun.... they are the peeps that encourage people like me to attend school... school is never boring with them ard....

Meeting my sayang later....

kinda miss him...

Take care all of you...

At last, it's my own blog

2007-07-26T01:42:00.000+08:00

At Bukit Batok Pizza Hut

Hey peeps.....

At last I created my own blog.....

These past few days, been pushing myself a bit too hard....
Everyday come home late from school. Went out with my boifey... Halus boy( He's getting more boncit)....

Also busy with practical...insertion of Naso Gastric Tube.... phase test will be this Sat.... Haiyoh... a bit scared lah.... God help me.

really enjoyed mysef in school... never felt this happy before. My classmates of class JN0701A is the craziest bunch of peeps... Really love them lots...

Got home at about 11pm. Halus Boy fetch me from school. We went to Tampines Interchange to meet our insirance agent to discuss about some investment issues. Filled our stomach at Pizza Hut Bukit Batok. Paid all our bills... senang hati semua dah settle... if not my sayang always stress thinking abt the bills....

Really damn tired..... (yawn)
Gdnight.....